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Comments
It is probably going to be called SOME KIND OF ZERO PROGRAM.
Shot back to front.
The Last and the Biggest.
Less terrible titles taken from chapters:
A Whisper of Love, A Whisper of Hate
Cards With a Stranger
The Eye That Never Sleeps
Bitter Champagne
The Job Comes Second
Death is So Permanent
The Slaughterer
The Beautiful Lure
Black on Pink
The Killing Bottle
The Finger on the Trigger
The Long Scream
Reflections in a Double Bourbon
The Pressure Room
Crime de la Crime
The Richest Man in History
Take It Easy Mr. Bond
How to Eat a Girl
When the Kissing Stopped
The Shadower
The Gambit of Shame
Fork Left For Hell!
Blood-lift
Hell's Delight
The Question Room
Blood and Thunder
I am now and forever shall be waiting for a bond film named “ How to eat a girl”
It's about time for a good double-entendre title! I don't think it'll happen though, since literal-minded people will complain it's promoting cannibalism.
And also, the majority of those titles sound like chapter titles that don't make a pass like theatrical titles in the slightest. They're over-simplistic like: Water, Sand, Chair, Ground Floor, etc. Bond titles should be intellectual mottos. One of the reasons Fleming didn't resort to Reflections in a Carey Cadillac, or The Double-O Agent (works if it's the title of a TV series), or The Richest Man In The World (sounds like a title for a biographical-documentary film) and others alike.
Most double-entendres are goofy.
Not quite. Bond titles are place names (Casino Royale). Bond titles are villain's names (Dr. No, Goldfinger). Bond titles are named after the villain's scheme (Moonraker). Bond titles are named after the operation (Thunderball). Bond titles are descriptions of the villain (The Man With the Golden Gun). And some Bond titles are inversions of cliches (Live and Let Die, From Russia With Love, You Only Live Twice). Others are statements of fact (Diamonds Are Forever, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, For Your Eyes Only). I don't see any intellectual mottos in there.
There they are. In the brackets. These are also double entendres, and I find no goof here.
And to some Goldfinger sounded like a French nail polish.
You're talking about a series whose successful films include Octopussy.
Except that none are intellectual mottos (two merely state the obvious), only one is a possible double-entendre (and not a very strong one), and together they make up a small minority of Bond titles, most of which obviously aren't intellectual mottos.
Yes, a series that didn't really resort to absurd titles. Octopussy does come off as an inappropriate thing to hear in today's American Pie culture, but on the surface, it's not nearly as bold and directly absurd as How to Eat A Girl. You can't possibly be serious in the promotion of that title.
"Merely" is the operative word, and mottos come very close to that intellect. It's not saying Diamonds Are Made of Special Rocks or Only Your Eyes Should Witness This Classified Document (re: FYEO). There is an actual obviousness in either of these titles.
Diamonds Are Forever places an intellectual and philosophical statement to it, indicating to the fact that they do last forever as opposed to the flesh of a mortal being.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service doesn't exactly refer to the MI-6 being the center of the plot. It was mostly Bond locking horns with Blofeld while questioning his position in the service when meeting a woman he falls in love with, hence undecided whether he should remain a government agent or resign and settle down with Tracy. That's what it refers to without being direct. That's what makes the title (and the story) lovable.
For Your Eyes Only doesn't "state the obvious" in the slightest. It refers to the classified document that only specific person(s) is/are authorized to view it. It doesn't jump to the face of those as obvious when they know nothing of the spy world or the accessories in fiction.
As for the titles Moonraker and Thunderball, while referring to the MacGuffins, they both do sound portmanteau of words (or at least seem like it) that feel strange, original, yet thrilling. I am sure the same can't be said of Erno Goldfinger's suggestion at the court when Fleming was tried on Goldfinger, to name the book Gold Prick.
From Russia With Love: sounds like a postcard.
Goldfinger: sounds inappropriate.
Thunderball: mismatch of sight and sound.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service: too obvious, doesn't relate enough to the story.
You Only Live Twice: is that last word a typo?
Diamonds Are Forever: ad copy. Avoid trademark violations.
Live and Let Die: another typo?
The Man with the Golden Gun: Sinatra, anyone? 1955?
The Spy Who Loved Me: if you're not gonna use the book... why use this romantic novel title.
Moonraker: the 1958 George Baker film? Find something else.
For Your Eyes Only: okay, good enough.
Octopussy: oh my gosh, so inappropriate.
A View to a Kill: seems incomplete. Try adding a preposition.
Titles are tough.
Exactly. As you've shown, many of Fleming's original titles can be as easily criticized as his chapter titles.
Property of a Lady
Shatterhand
Colonel Sun
Risico
The Hildebrand Rarity
Good list. Swap Colonel Sun with Risico and I agree.
Perhaps we'll get a SMERSH next? Or even a Smeirt Spionem (if I've spelt that right I'll eat my steel-rimmed hat).
Was it great?.... Or lazy.... I mean it’s fine I guess it’s not bad, but it’s not really inventive either is it.
I guess it hit any number of us differently on a gut level. My initial reaction was the same as @JamesBondKenya, that it smacked of laziness and unoriginality. That virtual title unveiling was met by a great big groan from me, inwardly and outwardly.
It was especially stupid when they didn't even explain the acronym in Spectre. I would have liked Spectreville instead (chapter title from DAF)... make it the name of Blofeld's base. But of course they will never use that title now.
I'm not sure the acronym still applies in the new timeline, but yes I'd rather they used Spectreville or Spectre of Defeat or something...I suppose Vesper could have been the "spectre of defeat."
Could have put the whole acronym on the table straight up. Now Blofeld can spit it out in anger on a later mission. Or not. It can still play out.
There is a chapter title called "Take it Easy Mr. Bond." Just sayin'...
Might make sense for Bond 26, assuming it’s a new actor.