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BondCapCon - No Friggin in the Riggin...Part Deux

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  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,968
    Roger, to Miss Piggy: We may have lost the Revolution, but our bacon is second to none."

    Alright, I think I'm exhausting the whole bacon thing.
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    Posts: 5,080
    Miss Piggy: "I enjoyed last night James, but it really is bacon for breakfast."
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    Roger's wife was surprised when he told her he would be bringing home the bacon...
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,968
    You dare challenge me, @MayDayDiVicenzo?

    When Miss Piggy finds the lucky man she'll be shacking up with tonight, he only has one question for her:

    "Do you have a credit card... or any bacon?"
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    edited June 2014 Posts: 14,568
    Everyone believed Sir Rog' when he said his favourite Bond films were Goldhoof, Thunderboar and
    From Rasher with Love.
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    Posts: 5,080
    Challenge accepted, @Creasy47!

    "Phase two: introduction of new bacon harvested from healthy donors -
    orphans, runaways."
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,968
    Straight from IMDB. Thanks, DAD!

    Miss Piggy: [Explaining the Baconmobile] "Your new transportation."
    [Large slice of bacon on wheels on the platform]
    Roger Moore: "I think you've been down here too long..."
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    "A quiche lorraine without bacon is like thunder without lightning."
    "What was that, Roger?"
    "Ehm, nothing. Take off your dress,darling."
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    Posts: 5,080
    "You only get one shot at life. Why waste it on bacon?"
  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    Posts: 3,144
    At last the remake of the century Roger Moore is James Bond 007 in STY ANOTHER DAY !
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    edited June 2014 Posts: 28,694
    In a lost Bond script intended for Sir Roger to star in, agent 007 takes to a Kansas farm town to face off with a malicious Farmer Brown who, after suffering from a decade of bad crop yields has taken to using Miss Piggy and her fellow pig brethren to create a form of swine flu that can be dispatched into the air and water supply, which he threatens to release unless the government compensates him for every penny he has lost. EON calls it a plot of epic proportions: Watch 007 battle for his life after Farmer Brown gives him an unruly steed to mount in a horse-riding competition, mud wrestle with the farm-wide idiot named Cletus "Hogtie" Hamilton and ravage Miss Piggy in the barn like he did Ms. Galore until that hog is bacon for more.

    A trusted producer who likely doesn't have the initials M, G and W and who was also close to the writing process on the drafts calls the script "something else" with elements that explore "the adjustment of a prim and proper Brit in the uncultured, dim-witted, Bible obsessed Midwest." "All this script's pigs are in the same proverbial blanket," says a writer who isn't John Logan (we promise, sorta) "You've got all you need here for a great Bond adventure: stereotypical idiot farmers, women in the kitchens and Bond being the lovable rogue we've grown to tolerate over the years." A director who probably isn't Sam Mendes calls the script a "triumph" and one he wished he could've directed back during Roger's tenure. "It explores all the finer elements of growing older, which is something I always try to feed off of in my projects," Mendes, er, I mean this director said. "The script makes you chuckle one second and then hits you hard the next. My eyes tear filled, I could barely stare at the screen any longer when Bond bravely euthanized the black stallion he'd grown to adore over the course of his adventure, and who was torn down by a well-placed bullet from Brown's revolver. Damn that Midwestern bastard! Damn him!"

    Sadly, this lost Bond script, titled "From Big Ben to the Pigpen" won't be coming to a theater near you. The good news, however, is that a pdf file of the script in its entirety can be found online, along with some storyboards completed during the first and second drafts of the piece. Don't hog it all at once, internet.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    I cannot read pdf files, can you send it to me by some other method?
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Thunderfinger wrote:
    I cannot read pdf files, can you send it to me by some other method?

    I'll print out the pdf at my house and mail it to you.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Thanks, OBMOB.

    Speaking of pdfiles, Piggy was 4 years old when that picture was taken. :|
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    After Penelope Smallbone failed to hit with cinema audiences during the release of Octopussy, for AVTAK Cubby decided to include a new character that would work in the MI6 offices, named Miss Moneypiggy. Once again, the plan proved to be a massive failure when the film was shown in front of test audiences, causing the scene starring the hog to be left on the cutting room floor. In a melancholic end to an even more melancholic story for our farm animal, after AVTAK wrapped filming, Piggy was unceremoniously killed and eaten as a roast by all the cast and crew to celebrate Sir Rog's last film as James Bond and the end of an era.
  • SoundofthesinnersSoundofthesinners
    Posts: 3,236
    Oh, this has got to be the best one since Connery with the toilet paper.

    "Why, Kissy, it's been so long since we were together!"
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,968
    Soundofthesinners wrote:
    Oh, this has got to be the best one since Connery with the toilet paper.

    "Why, Kissy, it's been so long since we were together!"

    The toilet paper one with Connery will always stand out when it comes to this game. That was one incredibly fantastic round.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Creasy47 wrote:
    Soundofthesinners wrote:
    Oh, this has got to be the best one since Connery with the toilet paper.

    "Why, Kissy, it's been so long since we were together!"

    The toilet paper one with Connery will always stand out when it comes to this game. That was one incredibly fantastic round.

    That really makes me proud to hear people say that. The captions can only be as good as the photo they are meant to accompany, and I am happy I got to post that one first. The moment I saw it I knew it'd be a good one, and all the captions were worthy of it.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,968
    Good! That was probably my most memorable, entertaining round that I've been in. So much fun, I was laughing with every entry. I think another good one was either the one where Craig is dangling above the bus during QoS, or when he and Ola Rapace were laughing together atop the train in the behind-the-scenes SF photo.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489

    miss_piggy_and_roger_moore.jpg

    Not sure what Moore whispered in her ear, but her reply:

    "And they call moi a pig?"
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,568
    ^ :)) It was her eyebrows that raised, this time.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    QBranch wrote:
    ^ :)) It was her eyebrows that raised, this time.

    Her eyebrows, and his..er..

    Sorry. Family friendly forum, I know.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,568
    Thunderfinger wrote:
    Sorry. Family friendly forum, I know.
    Hey, let's not forget how families came to be :))
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,568
    Judging on this soon?
  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    edited July 2014 Posts: 3,144
    QBranch wrote:
    Judging on this soon?

    Shortly.
    Thankyou all as usual the entries have been of a high standard !!!!
    3rd placed is Dragonpol Lipstick !!
    2nd place goes to Willy with his Fry another day
    And in the top spot is
    Q branch with Pork swordsmanship !
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    edited July 2014 Posts: 14,568
    Wow, that was unexpected, as there were so many great captions here. Thank you very much, @Mrcoggins! I will get a Bondian photo up soon!

    Oh, and
    Mrcoggins wrote:
    Pork swordsmanship!
    EN GARDE! :))
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    edited July 2014 Posts: 14,568
    Time for some Pierce. Good luck, folks- looking forward to seeing what you can come up with!

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C31yEIAXvVo/UjwWC9jMtrI/AAAAAAAAsr8/d02UlXhtXFU/s400/TIFF_Love_Punch_PC_PhotoCall_9_12_13_32.jpg

    rs_634x1024-130913122208-634-PierceBrosnan-EmmaThompson-tiff-jc.jpg
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,968
    Pierce: "Emma Thompson, everybody! She said she'd only sleep with me if she was drunk, so I spiked her drink on the way over here. Now, let's get this premiere out of the way so I can have me some fun."

    OR

    Pierce Brosnan showing off the new M, who was slated to star in Brosnan's fifth Bond movie. No wonder they did a reboot...
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    edited July 2014 Posts: 28,694
    While in front of press promoting one of his films, Pierce recites the Ass-Man's Creed:

    "This is my arse [pointing to Emma's rear]. There are many like those cheeks, but these ones are mine. My arse is my best friend. It is my life. I must bend it over and master it as I must master my life. My arse, without me, is useless. Without my arse, I am useless. I must spank my arse true. I must screw better than my enemy who is trying to flirt with my arse and take it away from me. I must charm this arse before he does. I will...

    My arse and I know that what counts in the bedroom is not how many times we knock doors, the noise of our sweet whoopee, nor the sheets we soil with our bodily fluids. We know that it is the passion that counts. We will make love...

    My arse is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a sister, but as a sister I'd like to sleep with. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its cheeks, its assets, its measurements and its bounce. I will keep my arse clean and ready for sex, even as I am clean and ready for it. We will become part of each other. We will...

    Before God, I swear this creed. My arse and I are the defenders of my bedroom. We are the masters of our love-making. We are the saviors of my sex life. So be it, until sex is had by all and there are no women to tell me I can't have it!"
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    edited July 2014 Posts: 28,694
    double post
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