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BondCapCon - No Friggin in the Riggin...Part Deux

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  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    edited December 2014 Posts: 12,480
    Indeed! Great entries and very difficult to choose.
    But here are my choices:

    3rd place: DrGorner with: Watching the SPECTRE press conference Pierce laughs
    " Look at Daniel's Granddad jumper"     (I am not that fond of the way his white collar is tucked into that sweater, actually)

    2nd place: Soundofthesinners with: "What? They're giving Craig Blofeld too? How come he gets all the cool stuff?" (Exactly. And you know he must have thought that at some point!)

    Runner Up is: Creasy47 with: Bond and Emma take a leisurely stroll through the MI6 Community, blown away that some people indeed do enjoy 'Die Another Day.'
    (this cracks me up as so true ...)

    AND

    Winner this round goes to @RogueAgent, who said:

    My goodness? When you asked me to take a new career for the church in a Missionary position, i didn't have that in mind???!!!

    And over to you, RogueAgent. Your caption captured their faces so perfectly, and you just made me laugh out loud. Your turn! :-bd
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    Wow! I don't think i have won this one before? :)) An honour indeed 4EverBond! Allow me a day to find something appropiate? Thank you!
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    No problem; take a day. Looking forward to your photo. :)
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    RogueAgent wrote: »
    Wow! I don't think i have won this one before? :)) An honour indeed 4EverBond! Allow me a day to find something appropiate? Thank you!

    Something inappropriate is always welcome too. And congrats on your first! The second is...
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    Ok peeps! After a bit of surfing i have come up with this!

    I look forward to many humerous gags from you all? Will judge on Sunday! Have fun and enjoy!


    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSc3zp6Fv2PUoN7JuB1gofHJfD5XDt9KETe4Zp4ZDy7-HCOyxgAWw :-bd
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Announcer: "Hello, ladies and gentleman! What an astounding night this has been, eh? The premiere of Skyfall at the Royal Albert Hall of London. Here with me now is one of the stars of the film, the gloriously classic Aston Martin DB5, a brand which has made it's name in the Bond franchise since the very start. The other star is Bond himself of course, Mr. Daniel Craig! Let's hear it for him, folks!"

    Dan [unzipping fly]: "Cheers, lovely to be here. We're really excited about this one."

    Announcer [looking at Dan's crotch]: "What's that you're doing there, mate?"

    Dan: "Huh? Oh, this. Just a bit excited about showing this film off, and with the DB5 here, I honestly don't think I can control myself. I might have to whip it out."

    Announcer: "Whip what out? Your Walther PPK?" [winks at camera]

    Dan: "Oh no, this thing doesn't shoot bullets. Rachel can attest to that."

    [starts dropping down pants, nude from the waist down]

    Announcer: "Oh God! Ah...uhhh....SECURITY!"
  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    Posts: 3,144
    Tell me Dan rumour has it that in the new film you will be working hand in hand with your co star
    Can you tell us the name
    Dan. Willy Galore....."
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    At the premiere of Skyfall in London, Daniel tries his hardest to hide the erection he got from staring too long at the DB5.
  • Risico007Risico007
    Posts: 9,860
    daniel thinking :Last time I let Rachael talk me into switching underwear this thing chaffes like you wouldn't believe.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    After being asked by the announcer about what he thought of Skyfall's great commercial and critical success, Daniel points towards his crotch, letting @Matt_Helm know exactly where he can suck it.
  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    Posts: 3,144
    Now Now play nice please !.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    edited December 2014 Posts: 2,629
    Host: Yes Dan you can win this beautiful new Astin Martin DB10. Now Dan, all you have to do to win this new car is to answer 15 simple general knowledge questions. You get 30 seconds per question. But there's a catch. After each question you must drink a pint of American light beer within 60 seconds. If you miss a question or you can't control your bladder, you eliminate yourself and do not win the new car. Are you ready Dan?


    Dan: Oh dear. I knew I shouldn't have let Rachel buy me that extra large Earl Grey's this morn....

    (Dan suddenly displays his famous sh*t eating grin).

    Host: Dan, you have the dubious distinction of being the first contestant in the history of this game show to not make it to the first question. You still get the home version of this game and a year's supply of Turtle Wax. (Off stage voice: Beer not included).


    You know, I really should walk away after this but.....

    Synopsis: Dan is brought back a month later.

    Host: Welcome back from our five minute commercial break on Pub Trivia. Dan has made it to Question #15. Only one other person has showered us with glory and that was chrisisall. Now Dan, take a deep breath, relax and concentrate on this question. For the Astin Martin DB10, here is the question. What is the name of the set of islands off the coast of Phuket, Thailand where Scaramanga's hideout was based on in the 1974 film The Man With the Golden Gun.

    Dan: (Now doubled over in agony). Phi.......Phi Islan.......................NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

    Host: Oh Dan, you were oh so close. Let's give him a hand folks,

    (Off stage): Sorry you didn't win Dan, but you do win a year's supply of Depends.

    Host: That's it for tonight folks. Tune in next week when our contestant is none other than George Lazenby.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 41,011
    Thanks so much for the runner-up award, Jackie! Going to think of a good entry for this.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    While Bond appreciated the special thermo-trousers Q Branch had whipped up for him for his mission at a Serbian gala, he was regretful that they got his size all wrong. For the rest of the night he walked about in the tight-fitting tuxedo like he had a stick up his rear-end, attracting pointed gazes from onlookers all night long as he hobbled along, shifting his weight from foot to foot like a sumo wrestler.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    After missing out on being cast in the first "Magic Mike," Daniel bided his time until the Skyfall premiere in London, where he tore off his tuxedo and performed a striptease for the onlookers, all in the hopes of being recruited for the sequel.
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 13,999
    Dan: "Yes, I am ver.... good god, is that Sean Connery wearing a jet pack?"
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    It was the first and last time they hired that Daniel Craig lookalike for their car show.
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    Keep them coming peeps! Already had a good laugh at the entries so far! :))
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    edited December 2014 Posts: 12,480
    The Aston reveal got off to a rocky start as Craig was busy filming in Austria and the wax statue of him that was used as a substitute started to melt almost immediately under the stage lights. The announcer tried to cover this up by saying, "My goodness, it looks like Bond is getting emotional yet again! He must really love this car! " pointing at wax melting like tears ... but when the Craig wax model's nose fell off, they had a fake Q come out and take it away explaining, "That SPECTRE lurks everywhere!" The announcer made one last attempt to smooth things over and said, "Craig. There is no substitute." But as that parodied the tag line famously belonging to Porsche since the 1980's, the announcer was gagged and hauled off also. A dramatic and memorable, if mostly gaffe-filled, Aston Martin press conference.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 41,011
    Craig empties in his pants at the thought of watching himself in 'Skyfall' for two hours plus. His ego hasn't been that high since.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    The standup comedian was so bad he just deserved a yellow shower.

    "But I was the one they kicked out, can you "¤#& believe it?", Dan complained to his friends. Five days later he sobered up. Still he was never accepted to that place again. Ever.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    edited December 2014 Posts: 12,480
    The announcer droned on, introducing the new Aston Martin. Craig was having a difficult time and muttered quietly to himself: "Get on with it. Uh oh! Ohhhh nooooo ... that fourth garlic, anchovy and jalepeno pepper pizza was too much. Topped with I forget how many pints of Guinness ... this is not good ...."
    Next second there suddenly there came a loud sputtering and explosive noise! It boomed across, magnified by the announcer's mic.
    The audience gasped. Craig bolted from the stage.
    The announcer quickly pulled out a handkerchief and held it to his nose and gamely said: "Er, I didn't know the car was revved up already ... heh!heh! That was a backfire, folks. Yeah that's it, just a little backfiring there!"

  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    Here are the results peeps!

    3rd place:
    Creasy47 wrote: »
    Craig empties in his pants at the thought of watching himself in 'Skyfall' for two hours plus. His ego hasn't been that high since.

    2nd place:

    Thunderfinger wrote: »
    It was the first and last time they hired that Daniel Craig lookalike for their car show.

    The Winner is............................?

    1st place:

    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote: »
    At the premiere of Skyfall in London, Daniel tries his hardest to hide the erection he got from staring too long at the DB5.

    Congrats my friend as this made me laugh out loud as it reminded me of my trip with the Mrs to Beaulieau!!!!! :)) ;)
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Thanks for the silver, mate. First prize really is overrated.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 41,011
    Bronze is where it's at, though, @Thunderfinger. I am truly honored. But, I guess congratulations to that Brady guy are in order...
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    They were both fine entries indeed guys! Like you I await the next amusing picture?
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Thanks for the honor, @RogueAgent! I only just saw this now.

    We haven't had a Connery BondCapCon in a while, so let's see what you all can do with this:

    068c818ea7c12ad6eec79d6fd0a2afb4.jpg
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 41,011
    "No no no, don't get Ursula's autograph. I'm better and more famous."
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    edited December 2014 Posts: 12,480
    "Sweetheart, please explain to your mum that as much as I would like to send her my ... er ... personal ones as she requested, this is the best I can do: a signed coconut. "

    OR

    "Halle is such a lovely name, sweetheart. You say you already know you want to grow up to be a Bond girl? That's wonderful!"
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 41,011
    "Actually, you put the lime IN the coconut and drink it all up."
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