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In third place, @Thunderfinger with these two corkers-
Carole was so damn tired of sharing her umbrella.
When Julian Glover s tent blew away, and they all saw him masturbating with Max on his head, he wished he could sink into the ground. Everyone did.
In second place, @Creasy47 with this amusing entry-
Roger Moore was heartbroken after hiking in the rain for hours, just to realize the local strip club was closed.
And in first place, with this highly amusing (and genuinely quite moving) mini-story, @Brady with-
Tragedy struck the set of For Your Eyes Only when, in a scene of dramatic action, Carole Bouquet accidentally fired off her crossbow, hitting and killing a defenseless and innocent dove with an arrow while it was frolicking for worms in the grass just outside the shot. John Glen had shooting stalled for an hour as the late dove, nicknamed Lovey-Dovey by a compassionate and tearful Sir Roger, was given a small ceremony and proper burial at the spot where it meant its cruel yet accidental end. Max the parrot and the double-taking pigeon from Moonraker were both on hand to eulogize their feathered friend and bird brother during a funeral service none of those present would ever forget.
Lovey-Dovey may have flown the coop to nest in a better place, but he would live in all their hearts forever.
Over to you (and may Lovey-Dovey rest in peace).
Judging in a week.
If Craig had directed Spectre.
"Oh, err...Monica meet Léa, Léa meet Monica."
Léa: "Okay gang, just remember, no matter what they have to say about Spectre we are still movie stars. No matter how ugly it gets in there tonight, just recite to yourself 'I'm good enough, I'm strong enough, and gosh darn it people like me.' Now let's get out there and have a premiere!"
Daniel: "Great. My wrists are presoaked. Now does anyone have a pair of shears I can borrow?"
"Better make that three..."
Monica: "I wouldn't know."
Craig: "I would."