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BondCapCon - No Friggin in the Riggin...Part Deux

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  • JustJamesJustJames London
    Posts: 220
    It’s called the Quickening, Auric.
  • Some_Kind_Of_HeroSome_Kind_Of_Hero
    Posts: 6,844
    EVWYcWAXgAEwinQ.jpg

    Oddjob looked wistfully to the horizon where an eye-patched high-roller in a white tuxedo was scheming to hold the world to ransom with two atomic warheads. Things had been like that with Auric once. Now it seemed all he wanted to do was fool around with Englishmen on golf courses. A tall, skinny man dressed all in black who was abstaining from the women and drink stood guard by the yacht's rail. He gave a slight smile and raised a glass of seltzer water to the caddy as if to toast their good fortune. Oddjob released a great sigh.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    GOLFBALLET was a huge hit, and paved the way for the even bigger sequel THUNDERBALLET.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,339
    EVWYcWAXgAEwinQ.jpg

    OddJob may have been a reasonable caddy, as a fencing judge he was no good at all, which resulted in an odd game indeed.

  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,941

    Suddenly Oddjob noticed a tiny kitten walking across the green.

  • Some_Kind_Of_HeroSome_Kind_Of_Hero
    Posts: 6,844
    Hawker: “Has one of ’em moved yet?”
    Oddjob: “Uhn uhn.”
    Hawker: “Okay, but we’re calling this at dusk.”
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    edited June 2022 Posts: 13,941

    After several failed attempts at filming a Slazenger Eaglet putter commercial,
    the producers decided to just go with straight product placement.

  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    edited June 2022 Posts: 13,941

    You must excuse me, gentlemen; not being English,
    I sometimes find your sense of humor rather difficult to follow.

  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,694
    They teased him about his height, trying to get him to do the limbo.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 18,348
    The Scottish Rite was more difficult than Goldfinger had anticipated.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Goldfinger misinterpreted the whole situation. Bond wasn t flirting, he had ants in his pants.
  • mattjoesmattjoes Pay more attention to your chef
    Posts: 7,058
    EVWYcWAXgAEwinQ.jpg

    Oddjob: Uhn uhn uhn Fort Knox?
    Goldfinger: Who cares about Fort Knox when you're having so much fun!
  • mattjoesmattjoes Pay more attention to your chef
    Posts: 7,058
    Goldfinger: Is the golf club building that way, Mr. Bond?
    Bond: No, it's this way, Mr. Goldfinger.
    Goldfinger: Thank you! After you.
    Bond: No, after you.
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,941

    Soon after, their lawyers confirmed the terms of their contracts
    and Connery and Fröbe stopped trying to get fired by EON.

  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    "This is a weird game of golf, Goldfinger:"
    "Ah, but this isn t golf, Mr. Bond. This is goldf, and I make the rules."
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,941

    Still another on-set fad of the 60s was stretching before the cameras rolled.

  • Max_The_ParrotMax_The_Parrot ATAC to St Cyril’s
    edited June 2022 Posts: 2,426
    In breaking news, after the pre-coronavirus pandemic sweeping the globe brought all major film productions to a halt for six months, Pinewood have today announced shooting is to restart on the latest James Bond film, Goldfinger. Current safety guidelines state that all actors must socially distance a minimum of one golf club's length from each other.
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,941

    However much they practiced, Connery and Fröbe
    failed to be cast in the 1960s television project The Three Musketeers,
    losing out to Jeremy Brett and Brian Blessed in featured roles.

  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,941

    Years after their passing, the spirits of Connery and Fröbe
    continued to relive old glories at Stokes Poges Golf Club.

  • mattjoesmattjoes Pay more attention to your chef
    Posts: 7,058
    Now look, you got till Friday to come up with more captions, or I'll send so many spambots to this forum that it'll stop being called MI6 Community and become Denial-of-Service Community.

    Bip. Easy. Ya follow?
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,694
    "I'll get the captions. Tell them I'll get the captions."

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  • mattjoesmattjoes Pay more attention to your chef
    Posts: 7,058
    Ca-- Ca-- Captions!

    c9fgk4.jpg
  • Some_Kind_Of_HeroSome_Kind_Of_Hero
    Posts: 6,844
    “M and I once read an interesting caption in Tokyo…”

    From-Russia-With-Love-313.jpg
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,941

    So they all settled in, anxiously waiting for the caption to show up.

  • mattjoesmattjoes Pay more attention to your chef
    Posts: 7,058
    EVWYcWAXgAEwinQ.jpg

    While mattjoes (center) seemed concerned about the caption situation, @QBranch (left) and @Some_Kind_Of_Hero (right) appeared to look forward to the inevitable catastrophe that was about to unfold.

    Not pictured: @RichardTheBruce taking a nap.
  • Some_Kind_Of_HeroSome_Kind_Of_Hero
    Posts: 6,844
    mattjoes wrote: »
    While mattjoes (center) seemed concerned about the caption situation, @QBranch (left) and @Some_Kind_Of_Hero (right) appeared to look forward to the inevitable catastrophe that was about to unfold.

    Not pictured: @RichardTheBruce taking a nap.

    Ah, wouldn't that be a cap-tastrophe? (and yes, I can be remarkably cavalier in the face of disaster...it's a practiced art)
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,941
    mattjoes wrote: »
    Not pictured: @RichardTheBruce taking a nap.
    You have no idea how apt that comment is, @mattjoes. Cheers.

  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,694
    James: "Ha! I blocked your move, Goldfinger. Looks like you won't be getting that gold bar after all."
    Auric: "Speaking of gold bars, Mr Bond - gold bars that are worth five thousand pound, as you say... Where did your caddy go?"
    James: "Oh crap."

    ---

    James: "It's a fine *club*, Goldfinger."
    Auric: "Thank you, Mr Bond. As a matter of fact, I own the club."
    James: "If one played golf regularly, then I expect *one would*."
    Auric: "There is much more to it than the 1 wood, Mr Bond.
    James: "Huh?"
    Auric: "I own many other clubs as well: 2,3,4.. all the way up to 9. Not to mention the *wedges*."
    James: "Now you're just bragging. So where are these wedges you speak of?"
    Auric: "They are in my golf bag, where they belong."
    James: "They're no good in there, Goldfinger - they'll go soggy!"
    Auric: "Huh?"
    James: "Just saying, bust 'em out!"
    Auric: "My *driver* will take care of that, IF and when the time is necessary."
    James: "Woah, that is no way to treat them!"
    Auric: "My driver may be mute, but he has feelings, Mr Bond."
    James: "Huh?"
    Auric: "Not to mention he is still in training."
    James: "And whaddya mean 'if' the time is necessary? Is there a chance you'll not be busting out any wedges?"
    Auric: "Only if I get stuck in a *bunker*, Mr Bond."
    James: "Ah, emergency rations. It all makes sense now."
    Auric: "Huh?"
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Trying to give Gert instructions , Guy s patience wore thinner and thinner.
    Sean found it amusing. Harold not so much.
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,941

    At first OO7 expected decent competition from the golf match.
    But Goldfinger was not one to take chances on the outcome.
    And Bond failed to notice the voodoo doll in Goldfinger's golf bag--
    a stunning likeness of OO7 himself, in Oddjob's deadly grip.

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