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BondCapCon - No Friggin in the Riggin...Part Deux

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  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 13,978
    Sean Connery displays his new ventriloquist act.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,963
    The General's face wasn't because he was preparing for a bite of some delicious ice cream, but because he just felt the insertion of Sean's Coldfinger.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    "Yes General it really is soured ice cream. And that'll teach you for laughing at my singing ability in Darby O'Gill & The Little People."
  • SoundofthesinnersSoundofthesinners
    Posts: 3,236
    General Medrano Sr. was simply horrified by Bond's nearly torturous interrogation tactics. He had been force-fed for hours and was on the point of vomiting, but could not run away.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Judging is tomorrow, so get in your entries now, ladies and gents.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    How the term Seaning originated.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,566
    130114-F-ME954-002.JPG
    Improvising with what they had, Sean and the General re-enacted the Bird One spacecraft scene from YOLT. Because in space, no one can hear ice cream.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    It wasn't the ice cream that had given the General a brain freeze. It was the thought of Connery wearing a thong in Zardoz.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Alright, it's judging time, folks.

    Taking fifth place is the always comical @QBranch with:
    QBranch wrote:
    Improvising with what they had, Sean and the General re-enacted the Bird One spacecraft scene from YOLT. Because in space, no one can hear ice cream.

    Next up in fourth place is @WillyGalore with these hilarious captions:
    WillyGalore wrote:
    "Ah what's the matter General, cone you take a joke?"
    WillyGalore wrote:
    After searching for "Licking Sean's big cone" on Google, the result was not what I'd hoped for.

    Coming in at third place is @RogueAgent with this chillingly funny caption:
    RogueAgent wrote:
    Sean is filled with glee as his assistant was not aware of the second ice cream that had just docked at another entry point!!!! 8-X

    In second place is @Soundofthesinners with this great entry:
    Soundofthesinners wrote:
    Sean enjoyed taunting the mounted corpse by holding up an ice cream and making sexual innuendos, to either the delight or concern of onlookers.

    And finally, taking home the big prize and a lifetime supply of vanilla ice cream is none other than @Creasy47 for his myriad of hilarious captions, my favorites of which were these two:
    Creasy47 wrote:
    "Let me show you how Honey liked it..."
    Creasy47 wrote:
    The General's face wasn't because he was preparing for a bite of some delicious ice cream, but because he just felt the insertion of Sean's Coldfinger.

    Well done to all that participated and congratulations to you on your victory, @Creasy47! The floor is yours, mate. =D>
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,963
    Thank you very much, Brady! I appreciate the honor. Let's kick this off again with some Dalton, and please let me know if this has been used before. I don't recognize it.

    TD1_zps9fdd6375.jpg
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,351
    Timothy Dalton is known to sleep on a bed of spikes because the ladies like it rough and can't resist his mustache. ;)
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 13,978
    Creasy47 wrote:
    TD1_zps9fdd6375.jpg

    "These Brosnan fan boys are trying to tell me something, I'm sure of it."
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Breakdance was more serious and dangerous in the 1980s. (Not referring to the gay audience.)
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    Tim had hoped that his early venture in the East German porn industry during the 1970's would be kept from public knowledge.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    edited March 2014 Posts: 14,566
    flash_gordon_timothy_dalton.jpg
    In the Mortal Kombat arena, Shang Tsung’s soul would be destroyed by the most brutal of finishing moves- the DALTONALITY.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    With EON dealing with heavy legal troubles and his Bond films not connecting as expected with American audiences in the late 80s, Timothy Dalton utilized his time away from the films and headed back to the stage, where he starred in a James Bond musical. Called SPECTRE No-No: Your Plans Aren't a Go-Go, the musical was co-written by Dalton and jam-packed with song and dance numbers, all starring the world's favorite secret agent as he battled against SPECTRE and its evil leader: Blofeld!

    In this scene excerpted from the musical, Bond is facing off against his arch foe while navigating a floor of dangerous spikes, a veritable death trap of dastardly proportions!

    Tim [signing as Bond]: "Oh Blofeld, I have found you. Oh Blofeld, there you are! Through tests and trials you try to smite me, yet still I stand tall. Is it any wonder why you hide behind the guise of SPECTRE at all! Oh Blofeld, you are lost in a state of deep reverie, but I swear I'll stop you in my dear Tracy's memory! Though these spikes are sharp and SPECTRE's threats are very serious, you sense of power truly is delirious. No matter where you run, around all of London or across the pond, I will fight to stop you till the day I die because I am JAAAAAAAAAAMES BOOOOOOOND!"

    There you have it, folks; what a talent. Come see the Bond musical of a lifetime with music by some guy who tells us he is John Barry reincarnated, sets designed by a man who claims to be Ken Adam, and more sexy signing and dancing bond girls than you can shake a stick at. Tickets are on sale now!
  • karatemanchan37karatemanchan37
    Posts: 584
    Dalton fulfills his lifelong dream of playing Bond in OHMSS. Unfortunately, he did not foresee the gritty changes that had to be made upon modernizing the Angels of death.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    Creasy47 wrote:
    TD1_zps9fdd6375.jpg

    Tim starts to feels uncomfortable in military sexy pose mode with all those leather clad men behind him.

  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    edited March 2014 Posts: 28,694
    Blofeld: "How do you like my pointy death trap, Mr. Bond?!"

    Bond: "I'd say it's quite fitting, getting pricked by the head prick himself."

    Blofeld: "But you must appreciate the artistry of the beautiful demise I have arranged for you, no?"

    Bond: "Most certainly. It's an honor, really. Hell, the only other person to have this many long black pointy things jammed up their arse is your mother when she prostituted herself around Harlem in the 60s to pay for your college education."

    Blofeld: "W-what? That...that never happened, I swear!"

    Bond: "One can only imagine all the bum sores she must've had..."

    Blofeld [assuming the fetal position]: "Stop it Bond, stop it right this minute!"
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    edited March 2014 Posts: 6,396
    Tim had to tread carefully. They were pointy, very robust, extremely lethal, and could bring a tear to the eye....................No, not the spikes in the floor but the bristles in his moustache.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    The Welsh pronunciation of the 16th Bond film: Licence to Khaki
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    Creasy47 wrote:
    Thank you very much, Brady! I appreciate the honor. Let's kick this off again with some Dalton, and please let me know if this has been used before. I don't recognize it.

    TD1_zps9fdd6375.jpg

    For god sake! I am meant to be Bond?!!!! Not Robin Hood doing Movember!!! ~X(
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    When Tim did his first big Sci-Fi action blockbuster at the tail end of the 1980s, all eyes surprisingly weren't on him. Yeah, you heard right. Taking top billing and all the press for the film was his gorgeous mustache, which took on a legend all its own. Some say it made women instantly pregnant once they gazed at it for too long, others that it shined like the sun if examined at the right angle, and several who claimed that it was even more rare and precious than a unicorn. It's even reported that once Tom Selleck saw it he had a massive breakdown, cursed his own stache and shaved it off in embarrassment, the tears falling from his eyes like waterfalls. It wasn't long after that Magnum, P.I. shut down production out of shame. The lesson here, folks: never underestimate a kick-ass stache. Ever.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,566
    Fun fact: Timothy Dalton holds the Guinness World Record for balancing the most black crayons on their end while being distracted by BDSM practitioners.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    Timothy was always grateful that his role as the "stranded warrior who never got the point of his journey" in the lost Kubrick film, "Mouth Wide Open " was deleted from the final cut. It certainly read a bit differently in the script!
    When he heard Kubrick had accidentally dropped the film in the Thames, while bicycling home from the studio, he was even more relieved.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,963
    These are great, everyone, keep up the hilarious work!
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    edited March 2014 Posts: 45,489
    Prince Barin had meant well when he threw the Birdmen some breadcrumbs. Still they chose to be offended.
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 13,978
    QBranch wrote:
    flash_gordon_timothy_dalton.jpg

    "This is more than just a little prick."
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    edited March 2014 Posts: 6,396
    Ye olde cure for piles.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    edited March 2014 Posts: 18,267
    The new Timothy Dalton Bond film in 1991 (The Birdmen Cometh) had some less than subtle subliminal messages in it that it was scripted by Spike Milligan.

    or

    "Spike sent!"
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