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Here we have a photo of Bond smiling- which suggests it was taken before discovering the truth about Plenty O'Toole.
Rachel: "So, what's your interest in this trainer of yours?"
Dan: "Among other things, they are helping me prepare for a role. They're sort of a friend of mine."
Rachel: "A friend, eh?"
Dan: "Yes. But it's not what you think."
Rachel: "Is this trainer a woman?"
Dan: "He likes to think so."
I'll be judging this by the end of the night, so I'll give it another six-eight hours, depending on the amount of captions this ends up receiving.
Woman trainer: "That's right, Bond Boy. Now smile for the camera."
Dan, whispering confidentially: "I learned early on not to argue with her. Babs got me this trainer as part of my contract. When this contract ends, I am so finding Babs a very special way to thank her for this ... his name is Silva, and I can't [expletive deleted] wait!"
=))
In third place, we have: Everyone. I know it's a bit of a 'Everyone wins' award, but seriously, I cannot even name most of you as 'Honorable Mentions' or anything lower than third place, as you guys had me in tears with these captions. Thank you.
In second place, we have: 0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 for just about every entry you did. The whole dialogue revision from the airplane scene in QoS you did had my sides hurting.
But when it comes down to it, I had to pick a first place winner, and that would be WillyGalore. Some of yours were overly blunt and sexual and to the point, and that's what got me laughing the hardest with some of these entries.
Well done, everyone. Seriously, these were all very hilarious and I appreciate those who entered. Willy, game's over to you, my friend.
You're quite welcome. As soon as that photo was posted in the Daniel Craig Appreciation Thread, I knew it had to come here.
Next up we have the Daltonator:
Good luck everyone.
Tim: "Why, I have no idea, Bobby. Perhaps I scared (*looks at camera*) THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of them!" b-(
Tim: "And that, little Cassandra, is what mommy zebra and daddy zebra do when they like each other. Now, if you come back this time tomorrow I'll be on a tea break and we'll discuss birds, bees and why you should never let another boy put his Mr. Hotdog into your Mrs. Donut without your express consent. Run along now, sweetie, and be sure to give my number to your dearest mother."
Bobby: "Yes, Mr. Dalton? You were saying?"
Tim: "Sorry, young man. That information is on a need-to-know basis only." #-o
Sally: "Mr. Dalton, Billy told me you could make my life at school easier. I keep getting my lunch money stolen and people call me all kinds of bad names. What do you do that can help me, exactly?"
Tim: "Well Sally, I help people with bullies."
Sally: "A bully solver."
Tim: "More of a bully eliminator. [Turns to audience as camera zooms in] Girls and boys like Billy and Sally all around the world deal with the same problems day in and day out: bullies. These individuals are cowardly, weak and only taking out their personal frustrations against their mothers and fathers and their own inadequacies in life on you: you are not the problem, and it's important for every child to realize this. So, here today I ask of you, not as an actor but as a man who too was bullied, to help lead an effort to curb bullying worldwide. To give donations or to share your story for our website, call (1) 800-345-5555. Every moment you stay silent about your pain and lock up your wallets to our cause, a panda bear is shot in the face. [Tim is seen holding a baby panda as the camera zooms in even further] Don't kill any pandas, they're so bloody cute. We beg of you, join us now."
WHEN IT COMES TO THE ISSUE OF BULLYING, ARE YOU GOING TO BE A PROBLEM STARTER, OR A PROBLEM ELIMINATOR?
Tim: "Well kids, it can get very hot on set, and doing take after take can make a man very sweaty. Let's just say I've got a bottle of baby powder down here at my feet, and they were none too happy when I asked them where I needed it applied."
"Piss off!"
"Stuff my orders."
Tim: "His left leg's gone below the knee. But they might be able to save his arm."
Tim [pointing to girl]: "Hello there, darling. Come over here for a moment. What's your name?"
Girl: "I'm Samantha."
Tim: "Ah, well it's nice to meet you, Samantha. What a beautiful name that is; very lovely indeed. Guess what, Samantha?"
Girl: "What?"
Tim [turing from happy to serious]: "Santa Claus isn't real, your father is cheating on your mother and you smell like old fish."
[Girl runs off in tears as Tim grins madly, finally capturing an elusive part of Bond's character]