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James Bond haiku-anything goes

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  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Kerim wrote:
    Bond, James Bond is back
    Facing a traitor
    Xenia's thighs, great way to die

    Hehe, certainly another way.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    edited April 2014 Posts: 8,164
    From Russia the girl send
    From England the man to find the machine
    together the orient express spend


    A man may cheat on cards
    but never should he cheat on two games
    for golden skies await him
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Parachute working
    Darn James Bond is stealing it
    Well, flap arms then
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,164
    By thunderclap a plane gone
    Atomic weapons for ransom held submarine
    Watersports enthusiasm saves the day
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    edited April 2014 Posts: 2,629
    Elliot's ratings
    Stamper has his toys
    Kiss the dead Paris Carver

    We love you Desmond
    And you too John Cleese
    Kissing the dead Electra King
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Bullet to his bride
    Not all the time in the world
    Time for comedy
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    The Living Eyebrows
    And hideous fingernails
    Safari suits, too
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,164
    when evil lurks in vulcanos
    and rockets from orbit are taken hostage
    an agent converts to japanese
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Ski across your neck
    What the heck
    I am a loser baby...
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,164
    from Russia with venom returned
    retreaved from amnesia and false stories
    to face a golden gun
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    edited December 2014 Posts: 2,629
    Missed DAD and QOS.


    Changing genetics
    Lousy CGI
    Excuse me, I have to hurl


    Shaky camera
    It's all oh so fast
    Elvis is a lame henchman

    And as a bonus:

    Wow, SPECTRE is back
    So is Mr. White
    Will Christoph Waltz be Blofeld?
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Heroes will die
    Except James Bond
    He will retire
    Madeleine her body
    Glowing like Colargol
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Stupid daddy, stupid James!
    Nails in eyes, needles in brains.
    Cuckoo
  • LegionnaireLegionnaire
    Posts: 142
    Day of the Dead
    Sciarra’s curtain call
    White Swann Spectre’s King Falls
  • vzokvzok
    Posts: 4,035
    Sit on a sofa
    Ride in a helicopter
    Squirty octopus
  • KaijuDirectorOO7KaijuDirectorOO7 Once Upon a Time Somewhere...
    edited November 2016 Posts: 189
    An oil rig aflame
    A weapon of doom in space
    The dark spectre's last day

    From Istanbul to my beloved Paris
    "From Russia, with love", they say
    But to me, it's "return to sender"

    The one golden shot
    The day of the Scaramanga is now
    No Jackal, just Bond.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Nice to see some fresh blood here, after the long slumber. Thanks for the excellent poetry.

    You can also check out WillyGalore s James Bond Limerick thread. It too has been dormant for a couple of years.
  • j_w_pepperj_w_pepper Born on the bayou, but I now hear a new dog barkin'
    Posts: 8,932
    3 FRWL HAIKUS

    A thing called Lector
    Object of Bond's desire
    So is Tatiana.

    Clicking of steel rails
    But too many dead bodies
    Orient Express.

    Siamese fighting fish
    They're fascinating creatures
    On the whole: stupid
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Thanks, that s excellent!
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,164
    Wow, quality is improving here!
  • j_w_pepperj_w_pepper Born on the bayou, but I now hear a new dog barkin'
    Posts: 8,932
    Appreciate your commendation. Only three haikus I ever tried to write...
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,164
    Well then that's a good start!
  • j_w_pepperj_w_pepper Born on the bayou, but I now hear a new dog barkin'
    edited May 2017 Posts: 8,932
    OK, I took this to heart, and heeeeeere's

    FIVE YOLT HAIKUS

    When somebody says
    I give you very best duck
    You'd best take cover.

    Something's deeply wrong
    If sodium glutamate
    Makes for healthy chest.

    Ancient proverb says
    Bird don't make nest in bare tree
    Waxing shops object.

    Toyota GT
    Prettiest Japanese car
    But E-Type copy.

    Men always come first
    In Japan but then perhaps
    Women know better.

  • Mendes4LyfeMendes4Lyfe The long road ahead
    Posts: 8,313
    Aidan Turner Bond?
    I hope Aidan Turner Bond.
    Aidan Turner Bond!
  • NickTwentyTwoNickTwentyTwo Vancouver, BC, Canada
    edited May 2017 Posts: 7,527
    One is Happenstance,
    Two, Coincidence, and then:
    Enemy Action.

    Wind of saw at knees,
    "Well, you can go - yourself."
    Damn you die damn you...

    Just read Goldfinger,
    it should be easy to tell;
    can't think of much else.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,164
    Nice entries people!

    @j_w_pepper I think you have a knack for this!
  • barryt007barryt007
    Posts: 19,339
    Austrian proverb doth say,
    Find yourself a Milovy and a Ferris wheel,
    And kick it off the top with your trusty boot.
  • j_w_pepperj_w_pepper Born on the bayou, but I now hear a new dog barkin'
    Posts: 8,932
    CommanderRoss wrote: »
    Nice entries people!

    @j_w_pepper I think you have a knack for this!

    Thank you, thank you...May I also suggest my other poetry attempts in the Limericks thread...
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Nice to see them both brought back to life.
  • Mendes4LyfeMendes4Lyfe The long road ahead
    edited May 2017 Posts: 8,313
    There once was a woman called Elektra
    Who fell in love with her capturer
    She got on her knees
    And issued her pleas
    That she didn't need looking after
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