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Dear old Roger's audition as Spock in the 3rd Star Trek movie goes seriously wrong!
Honourables:
We got off to a good start with @Murdock's clever caption (I would love Zero Minus Ten for a future film title)
Hear hear. Quite the epitome.
3RD PLACE: How funny would it be hearing Rog' say this!
2ND PLACE: Poor Roger. Someone really did a num6er on him.
1ST PLACE: @Willy's acting nonchalant, but we all know he's waiting for her to take care of him 'personally'.
Congrats, champ. The round is yours. =D>
Let's see how you all get on with this:
Darn it. Just beat me to it.
Brosnan: "Just getting some sun on my skin, dear. Rule number one: Never give a shark the cold shoulder."
Scuba diver: "Me? Just going to do some deep-sea diving."
Pierce: "Ah, very nice. Very nice indeed. Listen, how about you scrap all this and come on over for a drink at my oceanside villa?"
Scuba diver: "That is very kind of you, and I'm flattered and all, but I must decline."
Pierce: "Did I mention I had an oceanside villa?"
Scuba diver: "I've got too much work to get done, I'm sorry. My schedule's just jam-packed, honestly."
Pierce: "OCEANFRONT VILLA. Do you hear the words that are coming out of my mouth?"
Scuba diver: "I'm sure it's nice and all, but please, I must be going."
Pierce: "I mean, I've got pictures if you don't believe me..."
[Woman walks off, leaving Pierce alone with half a mojito, his tears the only company he'll be having that day]
I think we are taking this whole safe sex thing perhaps a step too far love?!!!
Pierce: And who says we can't invent skinny scuba diving?
Woman: "Ohh..."
Pierce: "Yeahhh, I prefer proper attire before I go DOWN on a woman. Get it? 'Cause, it's like, down, underwater, but it's a sexual pun at the same time, kind of. Do you...where are you going?"
Bond [speaking to diver]: "Beautiful day, isn't it? I hope everything here is going...swimmingly.
Scuba diver: "Humor will get you everywhere, Mr. Bond."
Bond: "Oh, so you've heard of me?"
Scuba diver: "Of course. You're all the rest of the girls have been talking about."
Bond: "Girls? There's more of you?"
[The diver points to a small boat full of gorgeous women preparing to dive into the sea]
Scuba diver: "I can introduce you to them after we're done diving, if you'd like. I'm sure they'd take to you quite nicely."
Bond: "I would like that very much. You know what they say? Sometimes the greatest treasures aren't always to be found under the ocean."
Scuba diver: "Watch your words, Mr. Bond. Keep talking like that and we'll all be ravishing you with mad passion. You've never had so many women at once before, I'm sure."
Bond: "No, it'd be quite the treat. Do you think your fellow...colleagues would oblige me?"
Scuba diver: "I'm sure we can working something out."
Bond [gazing out at the small boat the girls are piling on]: "Most excellent. But I do think one little fix is in order."
Scuba diver: "Oh? What's that?"
Bond: "We're gonna need a bigger boat."
[Bond theme plays]
Emma; "You know we have to wear the costumes we were given, Pierce! Damn, I can't get these gloves off."
Pierce (with his warm, sexy voice): "Put your back into it."
Emma (glancing up at him with a wry smile): "Yes. Considerably. OK ... give me another mojito, Pierce, and we can see about that. I see a cozy dive shack just over there ... or do you think we're trapped into going to this stupid party? "
Pierce: "Trapped?" - takes a sip, then looks her right in the eyes.
"Never."
And they manage to ditch the suits and find their way to the dive shack, no problem. Mission accomplished.
Pierce: "I'm just a little..sad."
Diver: "Is it me? Is it something I've done? Am I not as exciting as all those land girls?"
Pierce: "No, no, no, don't talk crazy like that. It's just... I was promised Jacqueline Bisset in a wet t-shirt. I've been here for five bloody hours now, waiting hopelessly for my childhood fantasy to be realized."
Emma: Right, well, you get your suit on, and I'll buy you an ice cream.
Woman - 'No wonder you wear glasses Mr Brosnan. That's a Citroen, and you're sitting on the freakin' thing'
Emma: "It could go for $50 in Miami".
Scuba diver: "Lovely. I'm just going into the deep. You?"
Pierce: "Oh, I went into the deep many times in my day. Still do, when the opportunity arises."
Scuba diver: "You dive?"
Pierce: "Diving? Heavens no, I was talking about sex."