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Explain a Bond Film Plot Badly

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  • LegionnaireLegionnaire
    Posts: 142
    FRWL: Some girls do, but then some girls don’t.
  • CraigMooreOHMSSCraigMooreOHMSS Dublin, Ireland
    Posts: 8,236
    QOS: No Woman, No Cry
  • LegionnaireLegionnaire
    Posts: 142
    DAD: Bond will have the kiss of life first, then comes’ Frost for breakfast. Later for dinner hold the death and make it with Jinx instead.
  • RoadphillRoadphill United Kingdom
    Posts: 984
    GE: Bond and his mate play hide and seek. It takes Bond 9 years to find him.
  • RoadphillRoadphill United Kingdom
    Posts: 984
    FRWL: Bond and the bloke from Jaws fight over a Typewriter.
  • SaintMarkSaintMark
    Posts: 7,653
    DAD - bonking in Cuba and Bonkers in Iceland.
  • TorgeirtrapTorgeirtrap
    Posts: 17,821
    GF - a high stakes game of golf against a gold smuggler with an unhealthy fascination for body paint leads to the kidnapping of a British spy. While in captivity, the spy must use all the tricks in the book to seduce a blond, bombshell lesbian, and convince her to help him stop his captor's far-fetched plan to put the United States in economic chaos.
  • RoadphillRoadphill United Kingdom
    Posts: 984
    OHMSS: Bond pretends to be gay, but gets even more skirt than usual.
  • Some_Kind_Of_HeroSome_Kind_Of_Hero
    Posts: 6,844
    Torgeirtrap wrote: »
    GF - a high stakes game of golf against a gold smuggler with an unhealthy fascination for body paint leads to the kidnapping of a British spy. While in captivity, the spy must use all the tricks in the book to seduce a blond, bombshell lesbian, and convince her to help him stop his captor's far-fetched plan to put the United States in economic chaos.

    That’s actually a pretty danged good description of Goldfinger...
  • TorgeirtrapTorgeirtrap
    edited October 2018 Posts: 17,821
    Some_Kind_Of_Hero wrote: »
    Torgeirtrap wrote: »
    GF - a high stakes game of golf against a gold smuggler with an unhealthy fascination for body paint leads to the kidnapping of a British spy. While in captivity, the spy must use all the tricks in the book to seduce a blond, bombshell lesbian, and convince her to help him stop his captor's far-fetched plan to put the United States in economic chaos.

    That’s actually a pretty danged good description of Goldfinger...

    Yeah, it's perhaps too accurate, come to think of it. Could always drop the first part, making it something like:

    GF – A kidnapped spy must use all the tricks in the book to seduce a blond, bombshell lesbian, and convince her to help him stop his captor's far-fetched plan to put the United States in economic chaos.
  • LegionnaireLegionnaire
    edited October 2018 Posts: 142
    DAF: The cuffs and collar don’t match, but once the waiters are gone, it’s just tongue and cheek in the Chase anyway.
  • LegionnaireLegionnaire
    Posts: 142
    LALD: According to the Princess Bride, that’s not a rabbit in your pocket, Mr. Bond, and “That ‘Ol Black Magic” just isn’t in the cards anymore.
  • mattjoesmattjoes Pay more attention to your chef
    Posts: 7,058
    NTTD:

    Read the plot on the next paragraph.




    Read the plot on the previous paragraph.
  • GatecrasherGatecrasher Classified
    Posts: 265
    DAD: Bond goes to North Korea to sell some diamonds for reasons and gets kidnapped by the army. He gets out a year later, chases the bad guy with diamonds in his face who gets a race makeover in Cuba. It all gets confusing from that point forward...
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,507
    DAD: Man desperately wants to impress his dad... then kills his dad...
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,507
    DN: Canadian with bizarre makeup buys fancy new metal hands, only to discover there is a drawback...
  • jobojobo
    edited December 2020 Posts: 7,507
    OP: Story concerning eggs scrambles along... There is a clown and animals for the kids.
  • 007ClassicBondFan007ClassicBondFan
    Posts: 2,296
    OHMSS; Man falls in love, and does some skiing, all while preventing bad guys from releasing germs
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,507
    OHMSS: Man pays a fortune to bang a pretty girl, then pimp father pays man to marry her
  • 007ClassicBondFan007ClassicBondFan
    Posts: 2,296
    AVTAK; Man gets too old for his job, still shags women half his age
  • goldenswissroyalegoldenswissroyale Switzerland
    Posts: 4,490
    jobo wrote: »
    OHMSS: Man pays a fortune to bang a pretty girl, then pimp father pays man to marry her

    Haha.
  • cwl007cwl007 England
    Posts: 611
    MR: A rich man wants to live on a space station and destroy Earth.
    Another man wants to live on Earth and destroy a space station.
    They have a fight.
  • jobojobo
    edited December 2020 Posts: 7,507
    TWINE: Pipeline obsessed girl with severe daddy issues handles Bond's pipeline so well that he falls in love with her, meanwhile sexy scientist discovers she can come more than once a year.
  • goldenswissroyalegoldenswissroyale Switzerland
    Posts: 4,490
    jobo wrote: »
    TWINE: Pipeline obsessed girl with severe daddy issues handles Bond's pipeline so well that he falls in love with her, meanwhile sexy scientist discovers she can come more than once a year.

    =))
  • ringfire211ringfire211
    edited December 2020 Posts: 655
    Yo bro, dis jawn was sick, yo!! Old fat dude got da bomb and tried to put a big smack daddy on da gold, maaan! Fo shizzle yo! And den da Bondz dude he be like yo I’ma toss you out da window. Sick, man!! Dey wuz on a plane!! Shiiiiz!!! Da Bondz almost got cut in two!! You fill me, man??? Dat jawn was sick!!
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,507
    LALD: Do you like blaxploitation? Good, because you won't be able to make sense of the plot...
  • 007ClassicBondFan007ClassicBondFan
    Posts: 2,296
    jobo wrote: »
    LALD: Do you like blaxploitation? Good, because you won't be able to make sense of the plot...

    TMWTGG; You like Kung Fu movies? Good because we have Roger Moore fighting King Fu style
  • mattjoesmattjoes Pay more attention to your chef
    Posts: 7,058
    No Time to Die: After many years, a woman reunites with the man who once saved her life, but he is shot to death by another man with a history of violence.
  • DEKE_RIVERSDEKE_RIVERS
    Posts: 1,462
    NTTD: Being a father can kill you.
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,941
    DN: Yes!
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