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1-77) The Asotn Martin Vanish doesn't like it's own manual. (177 had to be an Aston Martin one)
179) Bond's drenched tactleneck will be completely dry within a matter of seconds.
181. Gustav Graves' planes are stocked with only two parachutes, because apparently that's all he needs.
183. Madonna's directive with the title song was to torture the audience to the extent that they could literally feel Bond's pain at the hands of the North Koreans, which was unfolding on the screen at the same time.
184. there was more pouting and grunting between Graves & Bond in the fencing scene than between Bond & Jinx in their bed scene
186. I have no idea what that means...
187. Purvis and Wade must have visited the same gene therapy clinic as Moon and Zao did before writing the next film.
189. Bond has gone through 20 watches
190. Bond like to put diamonds in Jinx's belly button
191. Jinx likes it for some reason
192. Bond is able to convince the owner of a temple to allow bond and Jinx to stay there
193. A farmer now owns a perfectly good jaguar
194. When taking over the world it's good to have your car collection close to you
195. It's also good to have a random helicopter
196. Gustav Graves is so obviously a villain no one should be surpised
197. Miranda frost was nearly the hero and named Gala Brand
198. Frost was on her graves assignment for a few months and didn't find anything dirty and mi6 especially after 006 being a villain don't bat an eye and let her continue to work her assignment and let her know 007 will be there
199. Bond is a 00 and a bit of a wild one even though it was her boss who went overboard with the sword fight
And
200. Frost will apparently be seeing a lot more of Bond in Iceland.
Honestly I was always pretty sure DAD would have the most points when this thread was started but not even I was sure we'd pass 200. As it stands this movie has a higher score than any 2 of the previous films combined. I think it's safe to say DAD will end up with the highest record as none of the upcoming 3 films came even close to matching its level of absurdity. We'll be moving on to the Craig Era either tonight or tomorrow but before we do let's have a round of applause for the one and only.....Die Another Day =D>
I am nervous about Quantum of solace round but hopefully it won't beat out Die Another Day lol
There's no way. While I'll admit QOS has a few big problems, DAD has many big problems and many smaller things to make fun of aswell. QOS takes itself too seriously to get over 200 jabs taken at it. If you look back at the scoreboard I posted after AVTAK you'll notice it's more OTT Bond films that get the highest scores.
208. That you (make a mistake) taking a actor who played earlier in controversial movie from a controversial directer and you don't give a damm to do it again.
209. That is not realy be need to be named Brosnan but also if your name is Daniel you can Craig a knee.
211) this film needs mercy and we need to go on ;-)
And with that we'll be moving on. Once I get home from work I'll post the list for the next film. And for all you DAD fans (if any actually exist) your suffering is over.
It was like a really embarrassing birthday clown.
I've said before that CR is my personal favorite Bond film but no Bond movie is above scrutiny. If anything sometimes it's easier to make fun of your favorite movies.
Everyone has past. Every legend has a beginning. Now, discover how James…became Bond in,
Things We've Learned from…..Casino Royale
1) James Bond is back!
2) Bond will wait in the shadows for dramatic effect.
3) Bond will be a jerk and empty Dryden's gun but leave the gun in it's place in order to give Dryden a false sense of hope.
4) The only prerequisite for joining the most elite group of government agents in England is murdering an old looking bureaucrat and his nameless contact.
5) The emotional difference between your first kill and your second is considerable.
6) Chris Cornell's "You Know My Name" almost made up for the previous three dreadful Bond tracks.
7) James Bond + Free Running = One helluva awesome chase scene.
8) Bond makes his own exits.
9) The laws of diplomatic relations mean absolutely nothing to Bond.
10) When cornered Bond doesn't cut his loses, he shoots them.
11) Back in the Cold War defections came as easily as an agent embarrassing themselves.
12) Bond figured the best way to smooth things over with his already furious boss was the break into her apartment and hack into her private computer.
13) There's something about Bond driving a Ford rental that just seems so wrong.
14) Don't confuse Bond with a parking valet.
15) Daniel Craig's physique effectively made every previous Bond look like a wimp.
16) The sanctity of marriage means absolutely nothing to Bond.
17) Bond will sport a leather jacket in an excruciatingly hot and humid Miami night in June just to look cool.
18) Beefcake Bond will can be overpowered by Michael Richards' stunt double.
19) M will send her most reckless rookie 00 agent who failed his one and only official assignment on a needlessly complicated mission involving beating a mathematical genius at a card game that will hopefully create a domino effect leading to said genius giving himself up to MI6 rather than simply arresting or kidnaping him thusly avoiding the risk of losing millions of dollars to a terrorist organization and the possibility of her loose cannon agent with his shoot first policy cocking things up again.
20) Like a true sociopath, Bond will nonchalantly blankly stare at the dead body of a woman who's death he is partially responsible for and think nothing of it. Sean Connery would be proud.
21) The cuts on Bond's face will completely heal in the time it takes him to get to a train station.
22) Avoiding a joke about one's parents makes them an orphan.
23) Assuming that someone is a orphan also makes one an orphan.
24) Deep cover aliases mean absolutely nothing to Bond.
25) Mathis is the coolest Bond ally since Kerim Bay, if not ever.
26) Vesper can deduce Bond's exact measurements simply by looking at him…
27) …and somehow have a tailored dinner jacket made for Bond and sent to the hotel in a matter of hours.
28) Bond will recklessly mix vodka and gin (a huge no no) in his cocktail while gambling with millions of dollars in taxpayer money on only his second mission as a 00. The first of which he failed.
29) Mathis will for some reason feel compelled to give play-by-play commentary on Bond's poker game.
30) Bond will send himself his gun in that mail to avoid metal detectors but assume they won't run his package thru one.
31) Downing a full glass of whiskey will effectively heal Bond's wounds in a matter of seconds.
32) Nothing comforts a traumatized women who has just assisted in a murder like sucking her fingers in a shower.
33) After temporally dying after consuming a poisoned martini and having to be shocked back to life with a defibrillator, Bond will simply brush himself off and get back to his gambling.
34) While being chased in a car by a secret agent the best way to stop said spy is by using your trusty double agent who's survival is crucial to your plan as a human road block.
35) Le Chiffre concluded that the best way to extract information from Bond was by threatening to take away any chance Bond would ever have of having sex again thus making Le Chiffre the single smartest Bond villain in the history of the series.
36) Atleast now we know how Bond never manages to impregnate any women.
37) Bond will miraculously retain all of his muscle mass despite the fact that he was bed-ridden in a hospital and probably wasn't pumping iron.
38) Men with ocular handicaps don't mesh well with Bond.
39) The best way to get to the villains inside a building is by sinking and destroying said building.
40) Daniel Craig stepping into frame wearing a replica of Sean Connery's 3 piece Goldfinger suit and uttering "The Name's Bond…James Bond" before the Bond theme blares is a cinematic high that may never be replicated for me.
God Bless you Daniel ^:)^
=))
That's a great analogy too. Like a Bozo the Clown showing up drunk.
42) Bond only seduces married women. It keeps things simple.
43) When you're a married woman in for a bit of fun with a handsome spy, you better not tell him what your husband is up to. You'll end up emptying the bottle of champagne alone.
44)Vesper knows what to do with little fingers.
Those damn working-class people. Pity Terence Young couldn't work his magic on Craig too ;-)
47. When surveilling a bomb maker suspected to be working with terrorist acts and who is a key witness possibly working for a large crime organization, M sends a fresh 00 on his first mission with an assistant who is obviously even less experienced than him.
48. Dmitrios makes sure to send a crucial text message in the view of a surveillance camera as a favour to writers Purvis and Wade in order to make the plot come together.
49. 'Betting the wrong way' on an aircraft not exploding, makes you lose hundreds of millions of dollars over night...
50. ...I am not sure exactly how that works, but then I'm obviously not an expert in economy...
51. Its reasonable to assume that Le Chiffre, in the middle a desperate mission to save his life through a game of gambling, will be affected and startled by James Bond having a hot girlfriend and ordering fancy drinks.