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Touche.
You know, I agree with you.
TWINE is a mixed bag for me. I like the beginning a lot ... but it irks me no end the way M is caught, and it goes downhill in other areas, too; notably Christmas Jones.
For me, GE and TND are both outstanding Bond films and I watch them often. TWINE goes from good, to meh and not so hot and back to meh. That is my official review; sorry for all the technical jargon. ;)
So what would I do differently? Different writer. Different Jones character traits (coming from the writer, naturally). Different actress for Jones. Sophie was perfectly fine, though. As was Robbie, always. Pierce not so broadly playing the melodrama, so I say a different director, too. M NOT caught like that; it was so stupid and her time in lockup just looked so stupid. So yes, mainly different writer and director. The ending was okay - not the final, final, Christmas in Turkey ending; I mean the main plot.
Christmas Jones has to be eliminated from the movie. She's such a disposable Bond girl, literally only there to tag along Bond, and the lines they give her are abysmal.
And Renard has to be rewritten entirely. His purpose there is to make you think Elektra isn't the villain, but they build him up so much early in the film and he is really just a non-presence. His romance with Elektra is very soap opera.
Also, what's with the forgettable henchmen? The gold teeth guy, the dreads guy. Lame.
I love the opening sequence. I find the score by Arnold pretty strong, especially the bit when Elektra and Bond are skiing, and the bit where Bond dives to enter the submarine. Sophie Marceau gives a very good performance, even when she's saddled with some very unfortunate writing (you made love to me!). She's stunning as well. Some of the locations are interesting to me but the cinematography really is muted, there needed to be more color to the proceedings. This is also an issue in TND and DAD. And I always like the Brozza in the role. I hope we NEVER have to hear Bond say "he knew where to hurt me" ever again, though.
There is one thing I would change, however: I find Cleese's 'R' to be too much of a bumbling idiot. But I guess that's the point of the character.
For all he's build up the Renard character comes across as rather dull. Not particularly Carlisles fault but he just doesn't have that imposing quality.
Renard's final fight with Bond should have been better. More brutal and faster.
Get rid of Goldie.
The paraglider sequence is a pretty meh action sequence and the Caviar factory one could have been taken out completely.
I know it gets a lot of stick on here but i think it's a good film overall.
Amen @Some_Kind_Of_Hero
Popper and zipper ?!!!
Annoys me to no end...just cut Cleese's character out of the whole film,he is 100% better and more than Bond's equal in DAD.
This is your chance to say whatever you would have done differently with the film; things like: plot change, character additions or subtractions. Anything you like. People will be given the chance to give their responses within 7 DAYS from today (this may change so let me know if you want me to extend the time for longer) until the discussion moves on to the next James Bond film. This will run until we reach SKYFALL as a discussion for SPECTRE already exists.
Hope you guys enjoy hearing everyone's responses!
As a fan of this thread, I open it up to you very creative people and have a ball with this one!
.Re-write some of Jinx's dialogue.
.Get rid of the majority of the slow motion and sped up shots. At times, they look cool, such as the intro shot of Iceland, but they look stupid for the most part.
.Miranda is renamed Gala Brand.
.Keep a couple deleted scenes. They sounded interesting.
.Get rid of that godforsaken ice dragster and tsunami sequence. Just start the car chase after Bond escapes the mine. Find a way to work in the ICARUS hitting ice palace.
.During the finale, get rid of the robosuit and improve the CGI.
With this one-- DAD-- assuming PB was still Bond, I'd give him what he says he always wanted. A darker film. A Casino Royale type film.
We'd take MOONRAKER (as DAD did, kinda), and update it. There would be a character (re-named in replacement of Drax), who is wealthy and recently caught the buzz of the media for his philanthropic side. He's building artificial limbs of children of war; the Queen has Knighted him... and so on...
But, this wonderful man is going to Blades and cheating at cards every night. M knows this, but doesn't know how. She brings out her best agent to solve what the hell is going on.
Once 007 cracks the case, by out-cheating "Drax", Drax decides to hire on this civil servant as protector of his latest invention. A missile defence program that will protect London from any attack from hostile agents.
Bond agrees to the assignment, even with his unease of the man who runs it. He can't help but do some detective work and sleuths around the project once he arrives at "Drax"'s compound. He discovers that this program is not in defence of London, but an attack that will obliterate the entire city, and -- to update this concept-- all the big western cities as well.
Trapped at "Drax"'s compound, with no means of communicating and warning the outside, Bond turns to one one of Drax's scientists, Gala Brand, and "wins her over" to help him in stopping Drax and his plan. There will be a ticking time bomb over their heads.
Of course there would be gratuitous sex and wonderful bursts of violence. But this film would be similar to OHMSS in having Bond trapped on the villain's base and having to stop the nefarious plans with little help from the outside world.
So, in essence, I would change a helluva lot of DAD to match MR the novel.
You're onto something here...too many subplots! What if they got rid of Christmas Jones entirely? If they really focused on the Bond/Elektra relationship and then had her turn evil, that would have been something.
On to DAD:
It needs a page one rewrite, I'm afraid. On second thought, just burn the script.
@peter, I completely agree with you, they should have just done a faithful remake of MR.
Jettison Jinx, the song, the score, the uninspired locations of Iceland and North Korea and Cuba (they just did it in GE), the hammy Stephens, and all of the tedious homages.
Keep Blades and have the card game play out there. Of course keep Rosamund Pike and make her Gala Brand--the actual Gala Brand.
Everything and everyone else must go!
Now in 2002 Eon wasn't ready to do a full-blown return to Fleming so it's not quite fair. I fully expect they will do a faithful (and economical) MR update as the next Bond actor's debut; the precedent has now been set with CR.
This is how I would change it without completely starting from scratch, and use what I can from the existing film.
I try to avoid recasting with an actor that hasnt already been involved with the series, and I wont be going scene for scene.
So then, on to the film proper.
The big change I will make character wise, is I am writing out Jinx. I found her to be a poor character, and the dialogue between her and Bond was truly risible and insipid at times.
In her place comes....Wai Lin! The reason for her taking Jinx's place is three fold. Number one, she is a better character than Jinx. Number two, played by Michelle Yeoh, she will be far more credible in any action she is required to be involved in. Number three, and this is the biggest one, the issue and the themes dealt with in the film feel like a more 'far eastern' problem, and it makes much more sense for China to be more involved than the United States. An added plus is it ties in nicely with the Chinese being after Zao and being willing to assist Bond in his capture or execution.
So off we go with roughly the same opening sequence as we got in the film proper. We lose Zao getting the diamonds embedded in his face. The hovercraft chase is the same, sans the terrible 'saved by the bell' line and Bond is captured.
So we get the same imprisonment/torture stuff as before and the prisoner exchange with Zao.
Bond is imprisoned by his own people, exactly the same, but as with Zao and the diamonds, lose the fake heart attack stuff and just have him fake a fit instead.
Again on to Hong Kong, and all is the same. However in the hotel room. Wai Lin is behind the glass instead of Chang. They argue at first, but then reminisce. Bond confides that he is after Zao, and he was responsible for the death of Colonel Moon. Wai Lin explains that Zao is also wanted for terrorism against China, and suggests that they team up, and head to Cuba to track intelligence on Zao.
So off to Cuba as in the regular film. As the Chinese dont have an office in Cuba, Bond goes to Raoul to get the info on Zao being at the Los Organos clinic. He meets Wai Lin on the beach to scope out Los Organos, roughly the same as with Jinx(although without the awful dialogue and Dr.No reference) and they have sex.
All the guff with the rude South African is gone and Bond and Wai Lin sneak onto the island together then seperate. There is no 'Gene therapy' going on at the clinic this time, just extensive plastic surgery and scientific experiments.
This is where I would write out Vlad and have Dr.Alvarez's role be bigger and take over Vlad's too. So Wai Lin finds Alvarez, cold cocks his bodyguard, imprisons him and holds him hostage. But he refuses to talk.
Bond locates Zao, who is being prepped for plastic surgery(note that Zao doesnt have diamonds in his face, and hasnt changed his look since first being seen). Bond and Zao have a vicious hand to hand fight, with Zao using a surgical instrument as a weapon.
Eventually Bond gets the better of Zao, and brutally executes him with a single shot to the head. Zao is dead and written out of the story.
As Bond is making his way to Alvarez's office to meet Wai Lin, the bodyguard wakes up and fights Wai Lin. Alvarez makes his escape through a window and towards his Helicopter. Bond comes in as Alvarez is escaping and gives chase but is pinned down by more guards with automatic weapons. Alvarez escapes in the chopper.
Bond and Wai Lin interrogate the bodyguard, and he reveals that the Clinic is owned by something called the Graves Corporation.
Bond and Wai Lin decide to seperate and contact there respective governments. Bond talks to Raoul to found out more about the Graves corp.
Using Raoul as an intermediary, Bond has re-established links with M and decides to return to London. Once on the plane the film stays the same throughout the intoduction of Graves and the excellent fencing fight.(Sans god-awful Madonna cameo).
Only minor changes to Graves, He looks the same, except has a slightly more of a botched facelift look. Since the gene therapy has gone from the story, his transformation has been done by Alvarez using skin pigmentation, plastic surgery and hair die. I actually really like him as a character, like a dark Bruce Wayne type socialite. And Toby Stephens had a glorious s**t eating grin.
So Bond has his meeting with M, and Q in the London underground, the same as the film proper. He gets the Aston Martin full of Gadgets, but no invisibility this time!
On to Iceland, and again everything is basically the same except for Alvarez taking Vlad's role and Wai Lin in Jinx's. (Also Graves treats Alvarez with a lot more respect than Vlad).
The daft dream machine is also gone, and Bond begins to realise who Graves really is when he sees the Korean generals at the Icarus demonstration. Afterwards, Wai Lin is recognised by Alvarez and is captured by Graves Bodyguard, Kil. So all the stuff with Frost also happens in basically the same way.
Bond looks for Wai Lin, and finds her being held captive by Kil in the Diamond factory. They have a brutal fist fight, until Wai Lin escapes, and assists Bond, who throws Kil down the fake Diamond mine to his death.
He tells Wai Lin to go and find Miranda, who is unfortunately waiting with armed guards and Wai Lin is captured.
Bond and Graves have the 'so you live to Die Another Day...Colonel' confrontation minus Zao.
Bond escapes using the glass breaking ring as he does in the film. And jumps into Graves dragster. Graves shows off Icarus, again exactly as he does in the film. This time, however, the dragster teeters on the edge of the Iceberg instead of going over. With the Icarus beam approaching, Bond breaks the glass windscreen using his ring, and cuts the parachute off of the dragster, and jumps off of the iceberg.
Icarus cuts the Iceberg and causes the massive wave, but no surfing here! Bond is ahead of it due to the parachute and land safely on a smaller Iceberg without touching water.
He sneaks back to the Ice Palace to get Wai Lin, but is spotted by guards and is forced to jump into the nearest one of Graves supercar collection. For arguments sake we will say a Lamborghini.
Here is the twist on the existing car chase. Graves jumps into Bond's Aston Martin (Miranda had taken the keys earlier along with Bonds watch, when she says "Hand over the toys"). And the car chase is on, but for the first time, all of Q's gadgets are being used against Bond!
After dodging some bullets and a thrilling chase across the frozen lake, Bond veers round an ice formation, and jumps from the car, just before Graves destroys the Lamborghini with a rocket. Believing Bond to be dead he drives back to the Ice Palace.
So again Bond is forced to sneak back to the Ice Palace, just as Graves, Alvarez and Miranda are boarding the huge carrier plane.
Icarus is fired at the Ice Palace and Bond manages to rescue Wai Lin, just before she drowns.
So we get the scenes in the South Korean bunker with M, except Falco is replaced by a Chinese equivalent. They decide to send Bond and Wai Lin in to stop Graves destroying the demilitarized zone. Bond tells the Chinese official to attempt to contact General Moon, believing that he will find a way to stop the North Korean move towards the South.
So Bond and Wai Lin manage to get onto the plane, and from here it remains the same as the film.
The North Korean generals are bought before Graves, and he and General Moon have there moment. (There is no electrical suit this time, Alvarez has implanted a chip into Graves, that is connected to his heart. This means if his heart stops beating, Icarus is useless. He does this to make him invaluable to the North Korean high command)
Graves knocks his father to the floor with a punch, and one of the guards handcuffs General Moon to a railing.
At this point Bond bursts in and the window gets blown out. Alvarez and the Korean generals, except Moon are sucked out of the plane, the guard with the keys to Moon's cuffs is hanging on to Moon, and Moon, unseen by Graves, manages to pull the keys free before the guard is sucked out of the plane.
Meanwhile Wai Lin has managed to subdue the pilots and steady the plane.
This is interspersed with the demilitarized zone being destroyed and the Icarus beam is now moving towards Seoul, the capital of South Korea.
Miranda attacks Wai Lin, and they fight, pretty much the same as the film, and Wai Lin kills Miranda(minus the "Bitch!" line).
Meanwhile Bond and Graves are fighting on the observation deck, Graves gets the better of Bond, grabs the Icarus control panel and puts on his parachute. "Its time to face destiny!"
At this point, General Moon has unlocked his cuffs and grabbed a gun from the floor, just as Bond attacks Graves again. They both see Moon, pointing the firearm at them. Moon agonizes over who to shoot, but finally shoots Graves through the shoulder. Bond pulls the cord of Graves Parachute, "Its time to face Gravity!". Graves hangs on, but Bond punches him off and into the plane engine. Icarus goes silent just as it has started to destroy Seoul.
Moon comes with Bond to Wai Lin, distraught over the actions of his son, he agrees to land the plane, or try, so Bond and Wai Lin can escape. As the plane is flying low over the ground, Bond reverses one of Graves supercars out of the cargo door(ala Living Daylights) Unfortunately the plane crashes just after and Moon is killed.
Cut to the final scene of Bond and Wai Lin making out in a hotel room in South Korea, while a news story plays in the background of General Moon being a hero across all the Koreas for sacrificing himself to prevent an international incident....
The End!
Hope you all enjoyed the read.
Great rewrite. Would have been much much better than what we got.
I think that's because, aside from The Eden Project, it's mostly CGI.
There was supposedly further scenes with Raoul. They could have expanded on his role, spent 5 more minutes in Cuba.
Of course from the moment Bond escapes from Miranda and Graves we could lose the next 5 minutes and go straight to the car chase. Cut out the hotrod, tsunami, para surfing. All gone.
So, running time isn't effected so far.
The climatic 40 minutes is loud, chaotic and coma inducing. A bit of editing here and there, maybe a quieter confrontation between Bond and Graves.
And lose the Carry On jokes at the end ("put it back in" - stuff like that).
I don't believe in over hauling the Bonds. They are what they are. But DAD could be tweaked so easily to improve it. Even the simple removal of the tsunami sequence would be a massive boost.
But Camille was a fine version of that.
They were good about delivering that type of character in QoS without being too in-your-face about it. It was so cringey to me in SP, with the cliché "Uh-oh, she's reloading a handgun in seconds so she obviously knows her stuff!"