James Bond University

2

Comments

  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation CEO
    Posts: 3,675
    Wouldn’t it have to be 00.7 gpa
    And you have to be like Fleming, poor at studies, but good at sports and pussy

    Hahahaha! That's so funny.
  • Andi1996RueggAndi1996Ruegg Hello. It's me, Evelyn Tremble.
    Posts: 2,005
    Wouldn’t it have to be 00.7 gpa
    And you have to be like Fleming, poor at studies, but good at sports and pussy

    ha ha ha....unfortunately I'm good at all three :P
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation CEO
    Posts: 3,675
    @ClarkDevlin - CLOTH6219 - Professor Devlin teaches how to dress like Bond from Dr No in 1962, all the way to B25 in 2019.
  • Agent_99 wrote: »
    I'm looking forward to @Some_Kind_Of_Hero's one-day seminar on how to cook scrambled eggs the James Bond way, and the precise circumstances and locations in which this is appropriate behaviour. Ingredients and utensils provided; bring your own apron.

    And bring your own appetite! I would gladly expand this seminar to a full semester tour through the culinary world of 007, leaving no quiche nor fish and red wine pairing unexplored.

    And I would gladly sign up for your class in Motoring, with frequent field excursions through the English countryside and across the Continent.

    m_balje will of course teach Linguistics (LING BREAD).
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    @Some_Kind_Of_Hero, the administrators are actually having Balje transcribe all of the class descriptions, numerical classification and other items relating to each course at James Bond University for our scheduling and course catalogues for students, so he's got a full plate on top of his Linguistics course that he's only just gotten his lesson plan in for. What could go wrong with such a workload, right?

    At best, maybe he fudges grammar a bit, types a wrong word here or makes a weird translation there. At worst? This is what we'll read on the course catalogue when students try to sign up for a class:

    dfldkfkldj; (fdfdlhfdl)

    dfklrheiorjepogu jpoitjorptrmhvhgumhfgerijmtviomntj niorpbunioymtoy nubiubnitruntiertburtirunbi rtub niteru frieofeiovrev iwenreiwurpiotpunrenio u ijgreitjeitjrijpiem e imefjeionfjieom iepmiepi enr f wmiejfp bkjgjkggkjkgkjgvjjfbtvgjvgc jkhyoioihooiho.

    fdjdf: dfhdi fdoihdifoorrroofu oirfjoirfrgiuyyhhrttrhrt grtgrth dfdgfg.

    Crap. Looking back, I think this was a HUGE mistake.
    giphy.gif
  • With a course catalogue like that, students will be flocking down the road to that knockoff JBU: Jason Bourne University.
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation CEO
    Posts: 3,675
    I thought you were going to say Jason Bond University.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    With a course catalogue like that, students will be flocking down the road to that knockoff JBU: Jason Bourne University.

    @Some_Kind_Of_Hero, oh god, don't say that. When you say Jason Bourne University, do you mean that filthy, underfunded public institution where all the students are forced to wear baggy jeans and blouson jackets as their uniforms when we at James Bond U have the best accommodations and give our male students the finest suits tailored by Sinclair's company and the ladies the best dresses? How pedestrian of that cesspool.

    I once heard a rumor that Matt Damon refused to visit Jason Bourne U campus as an honorable speaker because he thought it would hurt his reputation to have his name attached to such a dump, and the only people the administrators and president of the college could get to speak at some commencement events in the past was that one guy Matt Damon knocked out in the airport scene of Bourne Supremacy. How pathetic, right?

    And who would want to go there anyway? What exactly do they teach you that you could use? Why would I take a class to learn how to fight with a ball point pen or rolled up pieces of newspaper, very limited skills, when James Bond U has a complete fight training course from the ground up with the best instructors out there? The only think Bourne U has to teach that we can't is how to survive when you have amnesia, but to use those skills you'd first have to lose your memory (a rare chance of that happening) and even if you did get amnesia by some massive improbability you'd forget you went to Bourne U and learned how to survive with the condition anyway, so what's the point? Like Greengrass's camerawork, I think that university is on shaky ground, and deservedly so.
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation CEO
    Posts: 3,675
    Those pee-ons.
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,803
    What's the colors of JBU? I reckon black, red and white?
    I figured gunmetal gray.

    Or battleship gray.

    7238532556_0a54d599bc_b.jpg
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    edited January 2018 Posts: 18,280
    I'd also like to teach a class (if I may) called AMIS 65_68 on Kingsley Amis' Colonel Sun (1968) sole continuation Bond novel. I could expand the module to include detailed analysis of Amis' other Bond works The James Bond Dossier (1965) and The Book of Bond or Every Man His Own 007 (1965) and other essays and reviews in the field of Bondology. That is of course another special interest area of mine as well as the John Gardner Bond novels series and the literary Bond universe as a whole.

    But then, what else would one expect from the Leader of The Colonel Sun Research Special Interest Party (TCSRSIP), (est. 2015)!
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,803
    AND EVERYDAY DRINKING (1984) !!!

    I mean...yeah, good idea @Dragonpol. Amis.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 18,280
    AND EVERYDAY DRINKING (1984) !!!

    I mean...yeah, good idea @Dragonpol. Amis.

    Ha ha!

    I'm the proud owner of a first edition of Amis' On Drink (1972). I love the front and back photo cover art showing Amis holding up a glass of wine in front of a well stocked drinks cabinet!

    Come to think of it, I have the collected Everyday Drinking edition, although ironically I don't drink alcohol at all! It's just the Amis collector in me I suppose!
  • Agent_99Agent_99 enjoys a spirited ride as much as the next girl
    Posts: 3,176
    Dragonpol wrote: »
    Come to think of it, I have the collected Everyday Drinking edition, although ironically I don't drink alcohol at all! It's just the Amis collector in me I suppose!

    It's still polite to learn how to make drinks for other people (said the person who has never bothered to learn how to make tea for other people).
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Barry can teach drinks.
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation CEO
    Posts: 3,675
    Including his favourite ... Kinky!
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    edited March 2018 Posts: 18,280
    Agent_99 wrote: »
    Dragonpol wrote: »
    Come to think of it, I have the collected Everyday Drinking edition, although ironically I don't drink alcohol at all! It's just the Amis collector in me I suppose!

    It's still polite to learn how to make drinks for other people (said the person who has never bothered to learn how to make tea for other people).

    I'm afraid there's no drink in my house either, apart from a bottle of Bushmills which belonged to my late father. He didn't drink much either, mind.

    11,000th post, and I even got drink into it!
  • Posts: 2,918
    Some sample coursework from James Bond University, Lit 101:
    https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/456e/392501a43a2e0c185f324d3b175cec490b83.pdf
  • ClarkDevlinClarkDevlin Martinis, Girls and Guns
    Posts: 15,423
    Revelator wrote: »
    Some sample coursework from James Bond University, Lit 101:
    https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/456e/392501a43a2e0c185f324d3b175cec490b83.pdf
    I have to admit, @Revelator. For a moment I thought I was in my fantasy world.

    Job well done with the construction of the paper.
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation CEO
    edited January 2018 Posts: 3,675
    Revelator wrote: »
    Some sample coursework from James Bond University, Lit 101:
    https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/456e/392501a43a2e0c185f324d3b175cec490b83.pdf
    I have to admit, @Revelator. For a moment I thought I was in my fantasy world.

    Job well done with the construction of the paper.

    Where have you been? Haha! You're a ghost. No PMs, only forum posts these days? I hope not. I enjoyed our chats.

    EDIT: Good job indeed @Revelator. It looks just like my secondary school book guides. I loved English class, so you've actually stirred up fond memories for me.
  • mattjoesmattjoes Julie T. and the M.G.'s
    Posts: 7,021
    Revelator wrote: »
    Some sample coursework from James Bond University, Lit 101:
    https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/456e/392501a43a2e0c185f324d3b175cec490b83.pdf
    When was Ian Fleming born? 1952
    When did he go to Moscow? a journalist
    When did he die? 1929
    I don't know about the others.

    How did I do?
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    mattjoes wrote: »
    Revelator wrote: »
    Some sample coursework from James Bond University, Lit 101:
    https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/456e/392501a43a2e0c185f324d3b175cec490b83.pdf
    When was Ian Fleming born? 1952
    When did he go to Moscow? a journalist
    When did he die? 1929
    I don't know about the others.

    How did I do?
    @mattjoes, your...particular skill sets and knowledge may be of more use at Jason Bourne University. Be sure to send an application over there, post haste. Not everyone can be the best and brightest like those who call James Bond U their alma mater.
  • edited January 2018 Posts: 2,918
    Thank you @ClarkDevlin and @PropertyOfALady but I didn't make up that paper, it's real!
    I'm guessing it's part of the "Macmillan Readers: Diamonds are Forever Pack", designed for "Pre-intermediate" readers. Probably a simplified and heavily edited version of the novel used for teaching reading comprehension to children.
  • Agent_99Agent_99 enjoys a spirited ride as much as the next girl
    Posts: 3,176
    That's brilliant, @Revelator. I would very much like to see this educational edition of DAF with its illustrations.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Who will do sex ed?
  • Posts: 19,339
    Kinky......
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,264
    @barryt007 will do the specific 'Kara 101'course, to learn all about her passions, feelings and what she likes best.

    Next to that you can follow @RichardTheBruce's 'Bond's birds and the West Indies'(BIRD007) Not only will you learn how to seduce girls in Jamaica, you will also learn all about the lokal customs, Kling Kling's and hummingbirds. For an agent knows how to make any topic interesting.

    It's not fair to jest about @M_Balje, as his topic of course is cripptology (ATAC01). If you want to succeed there you'll have to follow my course first: 'how to report while enjoying duty' (REP101). After all, knowing what to report and what not is the most basic skill of any government agent.
  • ClarkDevlinClarkDevlin Martinis, Girls and Guns
    Posts: 15,423
    @PropertyOfALady I've been quite busy, and have only made it home from overseas (the other side of the world) a day before the new year, so that's less than two weeks. I'm still trying to catch my breath. I've a ton of PM's stacked up that I've yet to respond. b-(

    @Revelator, I wasn't aware of this edition of the Bond books. Interesting to see what this variation of a retelling (if that is the case) has to offer with what I assume to be a family-friendly version of the novels rather than the cold front that Fleming laid out. Many thanks.
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation CEO
    Posts: 3,675
    @PropertyOfALady I've been quite busy, and have only made it home from overseas (the other side of the world) a day before the new year, so that's less than two weeks. I'm still trying to catch my breath. I've a ton of PM's stacked up that I've yet to respond. b-(.

    Haha! Don't be alarmed if you see about 30 from me! You can safely ignore them. I hope you had fun overseas. Where did you go?
  • mattjoesmattjoes Julie T. and the M.G.'s
    Posts: 7,021
    mattjoes wrote: »
    Revelator wrote: »
    Some sample coursework from James Bond University, Lit 101:
    https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/456e/392501a43a2e0c185f324d3b175cec490b83.pdf
    When was Ian Fleming born? 1952
    When did he go to Moscow? a journalist
    When did he die? 1929
    I don't know about the others.

    How did I do?
    @mattjoes, your...particular skill sets and knowledge may be of more use at Jason Bourne University. Be sure to send an application over there, post haste. Not everyone can be the best and brightest like those who call James Bond U their alma mater.
    Done. Sent and accepted. I start tomorrow, with Shaky Cam 101.
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