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BondCapCon - No Friggin in the Riggin...Part Deux

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  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    edited March 2014 Posts: 3,144
    WillyGalore wrote:
    Ye olde cure for piles.[/qId always thought that the old cure for piles was Detol and the wire brush !!!.
  • barryt007barryt007
    Posts: 19,339
    Baron was feeling a bit of a pr** k in his current situation.
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,351
    I think Dalton got the point.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    flash_gordon_timothy_dalton.jpg

    Dalton was more than surprised to find himself in quite this predicament on set. He didn't know that his role as the Dark Handsome Mustachioed Stranger in the new Guy Ritchie directed film, Pinball Wizard, would find him literally on point and dodging huge steel balls being fired at him. The chorus of leather-clad "forest of angels" belting out "See Me, Feel Me" (from Tommy) didn't help his mood, either. Ritchie tried to encourage him:
    Ritchie: "I get excitement at your feet, Tim!" (giggles)
    Dalton: "I get the point, Guy. Just get me outta here." (not giggling - but using the same voice as when he asked Sanchez, "Don't you want to know why?")

    Ritchie's ego stayed in the way for two more excruciating takes, then after Dalton calmly promised to manually switch the steel balls with Ritchie's personal ones if he didn't end it, Ritchie looked in Tim's eyes - and finally realized the truth that many have discovered the hard way: you just don't mess with the Daltonator.

    The film wrapped that same day and Tim never looked back.
    (He did change agents, though.)

  • SoundofthesinnersSoundofthesinners
    Posts: 3,236
    QBranch wrote:
    flash_gordon_timothy_dalton.jpg

    Upon further reflection, it was for the best that Dalton never got his fantasy-filled, expansive Bond movie, given this production still.

  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,976
    It's been going on for eight days, but these entries are excellent, so I'll give it until Sunday. Get those captions in, people!
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    While shooting the climatic spiky death-trap sequence from the future box-office flop Hunky Hawk-Men From Mars in the early 90s, star Timothy Dalton had to do his own stunts, and often got poked and prodded for real by the very sharp props on the set. After finishing the shoot a strenuous three days later he joked with the extras behind the scenes, saying "Before I shot this film I thought the most pricks I'd ever have to deal with were Kevin McClory and his team of sods."
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 13,978
    flash_gordon_timothy_dalton.jpg

    It was at this point, where Dalton realised that he wasn't auditioning for Reverend Green in the new Cluedo film.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,976
    Judging time, everyone! This was tough because there were A LOT of close winners, and all of these were hilarious. Congratulations and thanks to all for participating. In third place is the hilariously and sexually blunt entry from Brady:
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Blofeld: "How do you like my pointy death trap, Mr. Bond?!"

    Bond: "I'd say it's quite fitting, getting pricked by the head prick himself."

    Blofeld: "But you must appreciate the artistry of the beautiful demise I have arranged for you, no?"

    Bond: "Most certainly. It's an honor, really. Hell, the only other person to have this many long black pointy things jammed up their arse is your mother when she prostituted herself around Harlem in the 60s to pay for your college education."

    Blofeld: "W-what? That...that never happened, I swear!"

    Bond: "One can only imagine all the bum sores she must've had..."

    Blofeld [assuming the fetal position]: "Stop it Bond, stop it right this minute!"

    In second place, we have Major Smythe, who had me on the floor from something that could easily be directed at me!
    MajorDSmythe wrote:

    "These Brosnan fan boys are trying to tell me something, I'm sure of it."

    Finally, first place had to go to Willy Galore for these two tear-producing, laughable entries:
    WillyGalore wrote:
    Tim had to tread carefully. They were pointy, very robust, extremely lethal, and could bring a tear to the eye....................No, not the spikes in the floor but the bristles in his moustache.

    WillyGalore wrote:
    Tim had hoped that his early venture in the East German porn industry during the 1970's would be kept from public knowledge.

    Thanks for playing everyone. Willy, the game is yours!
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Thanks for the mention, @Creasy47. That was a great picture and round.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,976
    @0BradyM0Bondfanatic7, no, thank you for the hilarious captions. I thought that was a fantastic round.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Creasy47 wrote:
    @0BradyM0Bondfanatic7, no, thank you for the hilarious captions. I thought that was a fantastic round.

    The captions can only be as great as the pictures they compliment, so thank you as well. :)
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,976
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Creasy47 wrote:
    @0BradyM0Bondfanatic7, no, thank you for the hilarious captions. I thought that was a fantastic round.

    The captions can only be as great as the pictures they compliment, so thank you as well. :)

    You're quite welcome. I've always loved rounds with not only amazing pictures, but lots of members throwing in caption after caption. The more brilliant entries we have, the better, especially when you compile two or three pages of captions.

  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    edited April 2014 Posts: 6,396
    Thanks @Creasy. It was another excellent photo.

    Let's see how you get on with this:

    hqdefault.jpg

    Good luck to all.
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    WillyGalore wrote:
    Thanks @Creasy. It was another excellent photo.

    Let's see how you get on with this:

    hqdefault.jpg

    Good luck to all.

    Bond undercover in Crimea to help solve the crisis!
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    edited April 2014 Posts: 14,585
    In a time of crisis, Roger Moore NEVER loses face:

    Ted Wass: "Oh my god, Roger- Joanna Lumley just tipped the ice bucket over your head! You must feel humiliated!"

    Roger: "Ah, THREE ice cubes in my drink. Perfect. We'll make a barmaid out of you yet, my dear girl."
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,976
    "Now, my dear, what have you put in this drink? I don't recall wearing such a fancy hat when I walked through the door."
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 13,978
    "Ah bucket, i'll drink this in one."
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    edited April 2014 Posts: 16,351
    Oh nothing to worry about, It's just a hat darling. Who belonged to a small headed man who had lost a fight with an ice bucket.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,976
    Bond's mission was simple: infiltrate the heavily guarded skyscraper to stop the enemy before he set off the nuke. Of course, one floor up, Bond eyed the open bar and the mission was aborted.
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    edited April 2014 Posts: 13,978
    "What shall we do with a drunken tailor *hic* .... good stuff, this."
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    WillyGalore wrote:
    Thanks @Creasy. It was another excellent photo.

    Let's see how you get on with this:

    hqdefault.jpg

    Good luck to all.

    Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, HIGH!!!!!! 8-}
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    2.5 million alcohol related deaths in the world annually.

    "This way I can never kick the bucket."
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Roger [to woman]: "Why hello there, darling. Fancy yourself a shag?"

    Woman: "With you? You wish..."

    Roger [whispering to man beside him]: "My good man, be a sport and give the lovely lady a few more refills of the hard stuff. I think my chances shall improve immensely."

    Man [mumbling]: "Yeahhh, or you could just take that bloody stupid thing off your head..."
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    edited April 2014 Posts: 2,629
    The lady in yellow embarrasses herself during one of Roger's famous game of charades when she guesses Roger's floor lamp as one of her portable pleasure devices.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,976
    Roger: "Suspenders? No, I'm way too sober to wear something stupid like...oh...apologies, good sir."
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    edited April 2014 Posts: 45,489
    "So...When Sean told me this head ornament goes with knighthood...He was lying?"
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    "Just a few glasses before I am off to the audition. A new picture called Bucket Roger."

    "No, the title is Buck Rogers."

    "Ehm... whatever. I need glasses."
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    While at a party in one of London's more opulent districts, Roger showed off his new piece of fashionable headwear:

    Man: "Roger, what the bloody hell is that on your head?"

    Roger: "Oh, that's a Peruvian ceremonial headdress from the old Inca culture, my good man. Pure bronze, this is [tapping it with his hand]. Had to pay the dealer top dollar for it and was assured of its worth to the tune of five thousand pounds."

    Man: "A Peruvian ceremonial headdress, eh? Looks like an ice bucket to me."

    Roger: "Well, I'm sure it would to the uncultured eye..."

    Man: "Uncultured eye my arse. I know it's a bloody ice bucket, Roger, and if you think any different then you ought to give me the name of your oculist."

    Roger [looking at man's drink]: "And that drink you're holding there looks to be a Cosmopolitan with extra cranberry, so if I'm to give you the name of my oculist I want the name of your bloody mixologist. How any bartender worth his salt could serve that to a man without slapping him silly, I have no idea. Quite frankly, I'm surprised you didn't order some glitter and a pink straw with that, you nancy."
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    WillyGalore wrote:
    Thanks @Creasy. It was another excellent photo.

    Let's see how you get on with this:

    hqdefault.jpg

    Good luck to all.

    Well my friends? I guess the drinks are on me!!! ;)
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