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Mr. Mortimer: You may know the right temperature of milk to have with catnip, but you are the one losing this chess game. How does it feel old man?
(Mr. Tweed ignores Mr. Mortimer with a stare)
Mr. Mortimer: The first move won't kill you, not the second, not even the third. Not until your crawl over here and KISS MY PAW!
Mr. Mortimer: Is any other vermin around?
Mr. Tweed: You are the only rat I see.
(Mr. Mortimer scowls and shares his group's evil plan for rat genocide)
Mr. Tweed: That must have been a pretty sick collection of pussies to dream up a plan like that.
Mr. Mortimer: Wish you could see the headlines: "Beautiful White cat robs thousands of rats of their existence.
Mr. Tweed: Tell me, what animal pound did they get you out of?
Mr. Mortimer: Don't make it tougher on yourself, Mr. Tweed!(SLAP)
Mr. Mortimer: My orders are to kill your kind and deliver the rat tails. How I do it is my business. It'll be slow and painful.
(Mr. Mortimer is ready to kill Mr. Tweed)
Mr. Mortimer: Any last requests?
Mr. Tweed: How about some cheese?
Mr. Mortimer: Not a chance.
Mr. Tweed: I'll pay for it.
Mr. Mortimer: What with?
Mr. Tweed: 50 sardines.
(Mr. Mortimer falls for it, opens Mr. Tweed's case and is engulfed in tear gas.Tweed finally kills Mr. Mortimer after a struggle. He takes the sardines away from the dead cat)
Mr. Tweed: You won't be needing these...old man...
"Aha, you fell for it again Tweed! Has my brave knight made your moves costly? Has my secured queen intimidated you, and trumped the vanity you hold so near? Have my versatile little pawns closed you in and made you whimper like the incessant vermin of which you are? HA HA. I laugh at your attempt and you should hold yourself lucky good sir that I shant eat you like the rest of your kind. A rat of such profane ignorance is no match, and I caution you to waste my time again with your amateurish efforts. Checkmate, old man."
I see you've been thinking about this for a while...
There's some gold here, but I'll keep reading- just to see what's truly on your mind...
Thrashing opposition= Great
Having your best game ever= Priceless
Eating opposition=FANTASTIC
Honourable mentions go to:
@Samuel001 for: "Chess, a game of cat and mouse." (This is exactly what I was going to post!), however @danslittlefinger got in first with: "The age old Cat and Mouse game continues....
An honourable mention also goes to @0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 for the whole FRWL Bond/Grant train scene, which was hilarious!
However, here are the top 3 for me.
3RD PLACE:
@haserot
"I find these parallels... amusing."
2ND PLACE:
@Kerim
"Who is this mouse compared to Fursteen?" 13 seconds later, poor little Fursteen was put to sleep by Dogzeny.
1ST PLACE GOES TO:
@Virage
Winning game= Good
Thrashing opposition= Great
Having your best game ever= Priceless
Eating opposition= FANTASTIC
Congratulations, Virage! Now take it away!
or
EON has reached a compromise with Ralph Fiennes on his demand for a white rabbit in his role in Skyfall.
OR
"If you think he looks sour there wait until you see his Christmas photo."
OR
"What's that? He looks angry? Nah, just look at him, he's having the time of his life. In fact, that is his happy face."
'Where's Glenn Close when you need her'
The engagement ring is 18 carrots. :-D